How to Know If You’re Just a Rebound

If you’ve ever been a rebound, you know there’s nothing worse than being second best to someone’s ex. Because relationships are all about balance, it’s important both parties are on the same page about their feelings toward one another. Yes, this is true even in the early stages. If you suspect you’re a rebound, you very well may be. Here are the signs you’re just your partner’s rebound, and nothing more.

1. They are/were too eager to jump into another relationship

Image of woman holding heart symbol

Dropping the L word too soon may be a sign of a relationship bound for rebound | iStock.com/AnaBGD

If your partner was willing to jump into a new relationship with just about anyone (no disrespect to you, of course), Bustle says he or she could just be trying to mask unresolved feelings left over from a previous relationship. Another reason your partner could be overly eager to slap a label on the relationship? Perhaps the rug was pulled right out from under them, or they’ve just been so accustomed to being in a stable relationship, they simply don’t know how to cope on their own. For all those people out there who have a paralyzing fear of commitment, there are just as many who are willing to drop the L word way before they should. Go figure.

2. Your partner doesn’t factor you into future plans

man proposing to woman

If you’re a rebound, discussing the future is typically off limits | iStock.com

It’s true there are people out there who have commitment issues, for one reason or another. But if you’re suspicious your partner may still be hung up on his or her ex, and is clearly a commitment-phobe, it’s possible all signs point to an impending breakup. If your partner never talks about the relationship, or your future together, commitment issues could already be well-established.

3. You’re always being compared to their ex

Couple on a date

Couple on a date | iStock.com

As if simply mentioning his or her name any chance they get weren’t reason enough, a partner who’s constantly comparing you to his or her ex needs to go. Even if your partner isn’t drawing comparisons and shouting them from the rooftop, you know whether or not you’re being compared to a previous partner. As Self says, you’ll feel as though you’re constantly being measured against an invisible yardstick. And you shouldn’t have to worry about how you’re stacking up against a person whom you’ve (probably) never even met. If you’re constantly hearing about someone else and how you don’t measure up, it’s time to move on.

4. You constantly need to boost your partner’s ego

woman talking to husband

Relationships shouldn’t be all give and no take | iStock.com

If it’s always all about your partner, and never about you, there’s a problem. If you’re constantly stroking your partner’s ego, making them feel comfortable and at ease, or making sure they’re consistently basking in the spotlight, it’s time to wave the white flag. Toddlers and narcissists need constant coddling and nonstop attention; well-adjusted adults do not.

According to Psychology Today, a person on the rebound will often seek out someone who’s ready and willing to shower him or her with affection. Of course, it just may be that you’re dating a wildly insecure individual, but if you’re not, your partner could be leaning on you as a rebound. No relationship should be all give and no take. You should always feel like you’re on an even playing field, rather than teetering on a tightrope.