You’re going to hate hearing this, but your man is lying to you. Maybe not a relationship-ending lie. Just a fib that almost every other man tells in his relationship. Truth of the matter is, there’s a handful of falsehoods that most men tell in relationships, whether it’s to their partner’s face or behind their back. Not sure what these lies could be? That’s where we come in.
Here are the common lies men tell in relationships, and how serious they really are.
‘I totally forgot, sorry about that.’
No, your man didn’t forget. He just didn’t want to do it. “It” could be anything from paying the Netflix subscription to calling his mother. For whatever reason, he just doesn’t want to do it, and doesn’t want to draw your ire by telling you he doesn’t want to. It’s easier to push this activity off and feign forgetfulness.
On a scale of one to 10, this little white lie is about a three or four — it may be annoying, but it’s nothing to get worried about.
‘I just had to make a quick stop. I’ll be home in a minute.’
Not telling you his whereabouts can be a tricky situation, and it is an all-too-common lie that men tell in relationships. Maybe he had a rough day at work, and chose to grab a quick drink at the bar to clear his head. Whatever the reason, he isn’t being honest about where he is. Sure, you don’t have to know every teeny-tiny thing your significant other does. But that absence of honesty can manifest into trust issues if he regularly doesn’t tell you where he is.
‘Why are you so upset?’
Lie — he probably does know why you’re upset. (The only exception is if you haven’t seen each other all day and he comes home to you upset.) If you and your man have had a contentious discussion or public spat and you are visibly fuming, he clearly knows why you are upset.
This little white lie is only as severe as you make it. If he asks you why you’re worked up, simply be upfront about why. It puts all the cards on the table and gives him less of a reason to lie in the future.
‘Hey, remember when I told you about … ‘
Actually, he never told you about this particular thing. He already knew you weren’t going to like it, and has avoided bringing it up until the last minute. Maybe it’s about an all-guys weekend trip, or about him wanting to make an expensive purchase. Whatever it is, he has waited to bring it up, and is making it sound as though you two have already discussed it.
‘It’s not you. I just have a lot of stuff going on.’
It actually is about you. Well, it’s about your relationship, anyways. And yes, maybe your significant other does have a lot of things on his plate right now. But if he has become withdrawn and appears to be keeping things from you, then this lie needs to be addressed more readily. Tell your man that you are there to support him while he goes through all his “stuff.” If that doesn’t help, then you two need to identify and address what the real problem is.
‘It’s just really hard to plan things right now.’
He doesn’t want to make plans. Whether it’s about planning a regular date night or a big trip, he doesn’t want to do it. This lie is minor if it involves something small, like making weekend plans. (Maybe he’s just not in the mood to do anything?) But if he is dragging his feet about making long-term goals or planning for the future, then you need to get to the root of the problem. As a couple, you need to address why he doesn’t want to commit.
‘I don’t know why (insert name) keeps calling me.’
Hopefully, if you and your man are in a committed long-term relationship, he isn’t getting random phone calls and then not addressing why so-and-so keeps calling. Remember when we talked about trust issues? This kind of situation can really hurt your relationship. Don’t turn a blind eye to this kind of lie — insist on knowing why he keeps getting calls from this person and why he’s keeping you in the dark about it.