There is nothing on the planet more simultaneously sweet and scary than having your significant other move in. One of the biggest changes that comes from sharing space with your honey is that it puts your personal living habits on the center stage. Sure, there are things that you and your partner can’t change about each other. But when it comes to moving in together, there are definitely some practices you should consider leaving in the past.
Not sure which mannerisms can stay and which should go? Here is a look at seven habits you should adjust when your partner moves in.
1. Lying about how dirty you are
Typically men get the bad rap for being messy, but really, both sexes can be blamed for being sloppy bunk mates. When you are dating someone and they aren’t at your home every day it’s easier to tidy up a few things before they arrive. When your partner moves in, however, that need to clean tends to fade. Now your significant other has to get used to dirty underwear on the floor, old leftovers in the refrigerator, and trash cans not getting taken out. (Which is extra disgusting if it is full of feminine hygiene products.)
Make a pledge to turn your occasional cleanliness into a regularity before your partner moves in. Hopefully this will lead to you both keeping a tidy home.
2. Including them in your ‘alone time’
You might run certain errands and engage in just a few social activities together when you and your main squeeze live separately. Once you shack up, that habit of including your partner expands. The next thing you know, you don’t have any time to yourself.
As Psychology Today points out, it can be hard for couples to find a balance between spending too much time together and too much time apart. That being said, it would behoove you to break the habit of being together 24/7 when you and your partner start living together. Indulge in small things on your own once your partner moves in. Go for a run, grab the groceries, or have a glass of wine — all on your own.
3. Sharing all of your possessions
Merging property can be tough when you and your boo move in together. At first, you might be so elated about this relationship milestone that you want to share everything with the other person. But after a while, you might start feeling territorial about little things, like which coffee mug you drink from each morning or which blanket you curl up with to watch Game of Thrones. You can even begin to resent the other person for “owning” so much stuff if you are the person who got rid of a lot of belongings.
Ditching the habit of feeling like you have to share everything is key here. In addition to giving yourself a little alone time, you should also keep an item or two — or four — that are just “yours.”
4. Expecting your friends to call you as much
It’s sad but true — your social circle will stop inviting you to as many things when you move in with your honey. This can be in part because they figure you are doing everything and anything with your significant other. It can also be because you stopped accepting their invitations back when your relationship got serious. Whatever the reason, your social calendar might not be as full of group activities as it was when you lived by yourself.
Long story short: Spending time with your friends is very important when you and your significant other live together. Reach out to them to convey that you are available and want to hang out.
5. Thinking your relationship will never change
This can be one of the hardest habits to break: Thinking that moving in together guarantees a “happily ever after” between you and your partner. Just because you are both committed to living in the same space doesn’t mean that it will be smooth sailing. This habit of lying — for lack of a better term — to yourself about the ups and downs of cohabitation isn’t doing you or your partner any favors. It can lead to fights over things like doing the dishes or paying the internet bill, and can explode to the point that you end up going to bed angry on a regular basis.
There are little issues that just about every couple goes through after moving in together. While no living arrangement will necessarily be “easy,” being open and honest about the evolution of your relationship should make things go more smoothly.
6. Keeping ‘secrets’
No no, we aren’t suggesting that you tell your partner every little insignificant detail. But there are certain things we tend to keep quiet when we live alone — our finances, especially — that must be disclosed when your partner moves in. Many people have the habit of clamming up when they don’t want to talk about something with their partner. But keeping secrets about big issues can most certainly ruin your living situation.
The solution here is simple. Be open and honest about the big issues when you and your partner move in together.
7. Treating every meal like an indulgent feast
Everyone knows this one: When a couple lives together, they very frequently also start to gain weight. There isn’t any one specific reason this happens, but preparing bigger meals — food planning for two people instead of one — and making indulgent “date night” type meals a norm are prime culprits. The next thing you know, that habit of only eating unhealthy meals when you see your honey has manifested into a nightly occurrence.
There is no doubt that kicking a junk food habit is hard. But being a little extra aware of your eating habits ahead of your partner moving in could save your waistline.