Don’t Ruin the First Date by Spending It at One of These Places

Couple on a first date

You want to give a great first impression on your first date. |

A smile comes to your face as you think about your upcoming first date with that special someone. You know what you’re going to wear and you’ve even planned some topics for conversation. The only thing you haven’t quite figured out is where you and your date will spend those first few precious moments together.

One thing Sonya Kreizman, CEO of dating app Crush Mobile, recommends is keeping the first date short and sweet. “If you like what you see and hear, then the first date is a perfect opportunity to suggest dinner as the second date. However, if the date is not going well and you are stuck at dinner, you cannot simply excuse yourself and leave. You are stuck there with the other person and you are most likely not going to enjoy your meal very much sitting across from someone you don’t click with. Plus, you wouldn’t want to be that person who says they are going to the “bathroom” and never comes back, because this scenario unfortunately happens more than you would think,” Kreizman told The Cheat Sheet.

Where you go on the first date can have an impact on the outcome. It’s important to choose your first activity carefully. Here are some places and activities you may want to avoid.

1. Your date’s apartment

an apartment

Give a bit more thought than just going over to their place. |

Don’t go anywhere alone together (your date’s apartment or car, for example). Stay in public because you don’t know if your date is a good person or dangerous. Don’t go anywhere you can get stranded or away from public transportation if you don’t have a car. Don’t have a new date come to your house, especially if you have children (even if they’re not home at the time). Wait until you know who you’re dealing with before putting your home and your children at risk.

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., (aka “Dr. Romance”) psychotherapist, and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences

2. A bar

a couple at a bar

Having one too many drinks on the first date probably isn’t the best idea. |

I advise against going to bars because drinking can often lead to some things you might regret in the morning. Don’t go to a guy’s place either to “start out the night” or “pre-game.”

Sonya Kreizman, CEO of dating app Crush Mobile

3. Crowded places

dinner at a restaurant

You won’t be able to hear your date in a crowded place. |

First dates are get-acquainted opportunities. You need quiet time together without distraction. That means avoid movies, concerts, and other crowded places. Also set a time limit in advance so you can gracefully leave if you so desire.

Rosalind Sedacca, dating and relationship coach, author and workshop facilitator for singles

4. Extreme sports activities

A couple hiking

A hike might not be your dates idea of a great time. |

I believe you should avoid activities that significantly boost adrenaline on your first date. Extreme sports, tough hikes, haunted houses, helicopter rides, swimming with sharks and any other activity that they feature as a “date” on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette series. These activities are so distracting that it becomes hard to focus on getting to know one another and when your adrenaline is high, you’re not focused on your emotional reaction to your date’s words and actions.

Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, sex and relationship expert for Astroglide

[Editor’s Note: This story was originally published July 2016]