Real-Life People Who Married Inanimate Objects
Admit it — there are marriages out there that make you scratch your head and think “dang, how did they get together?” This could be because these two people look odd together, or because their personalities just don’t match. So then what happens when real-life people stop hooking up with a mismatched person and form a union with an inanimate object? Prepare to be even more confused than you were before.
Man marries Nintendo character
Okay, so a lot of young people out there love video games. But this is just too darn far. In 2009, a Japanese gamer who goes by the name Sal 9000 married a Nintendo DS avatar named Nene Anegasaki. CNN reported at the time that the marriage was not legally binding, although Sal did go through the trouble of staging a live wedding online for friends and web followers.
Next: So, there’s a condition for someone who calls a wall their husband?
Woman marries the Berlin Wall
A couple major monuments made out list. One of the most famous cases is that of Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, who was allegedly married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years. The union came about in 1979 after Berliner-Mauer was diagnosed with Objectum-Sexuality, which is a fancy name for someone who is attracted to inanimate objects. The native Swede reportedly said of the Berlin Wall: “The Great Wall of China’s attractive, but he’s too thick – my husband is sexier.”
Next: There’s nothing healthy about this man’s marriage.
Man marries a picture of himself
There’s narcissism. And then there’s Liu Ye, the Chinese man who married a cardboard cutout of himself wearing a red wedding dress in an elaborate ceremony complete with guests. While there were many narcissistic reasons for marrying himself, his main reason for the union was his “dissatisfaction with reality.” Surely there are psychologists that would agree that Liu Ye is as far removed from reality as they get.
Next: This takes “playing with dolls” to a whole other level.
Man marries Barbie doll
Of all the stories on this list, this tale about Taiwanese man who married the gigantic Barbie doll. Chang Hsi-hsum, 46, reportedly married the doll to “appease the spirit of his dead wife” who killed herself decades ago because his family disapproved of their marriage. As if that wasn’t bizarre enough, the “couple” were had an elaborate wedding at a Buddhist temple complete with a “dowry.”
Next: The marriage isn’t the only weird thing about the next person on this list.
Woman marries a rock
Everybody knew that one kid in school that had a rock collection. But was there ever a kid that planned a fake marriage to one? Enter artist Tracey Emin, the grown woman who really did get married to a rock. Emin reportedly tied the knot with an ancient stone from France because it made her feel protected and less lonely. She also reportedly married the rock while wearing her father’s funeral shroud — whatever that means.
Next: “Tree-hugger” just took on a whole new meaning.
Woman marries a tree
Being one with nature takes on a whole new meaning with this couple. Emma McCabe fell in love with poplar tree that she named Tim, and reported that Tim gave her “the best sex she ever had” after a string of bad relationships with human men. Not surprisingly, her family was not willing to talk about it when the story broke.
Next: Blame Paris for being the city of love when it comes to this marriage.
Woman marries the Eiffel Tower
Like Eija-Riitta Berliner-Mauer, former soldier Erika La Tour Eiffel also has Objectum-Sexuality. And as her surname already gave away, yes — she is married to the Eiffel Tower. She told the Telegraph that she blames her OS on a rough upbringing in which she was an abandoned foster kid that was molested by a half-brother. But that didn’t stop her from marrying the landmark in-front of a small group of friends.
Next: More grown men playing with dolls.
Man marries a sex doll
Here we have another man who married a blow-up doll, although this guy wasn’t looking to eradicate any spirits. A Bejing man with terminal cancer decided to marry a sex doll because he desperately wanted to get married and have a photo shoot — but didn’t want to leave a widow grieving after him. There was speculation that the nuptials were a hoax, but the man’s photographer confirmed the union.
Next: This relationship has surely had its ups and downs.
Woman marries a rollercoaster
A roller-coaster can give you a thrill — but one worth marrying? It can, according to church organist Amy Wolfe of Pennsylvania. Wolfe, who also has OS, said that was attracted to the magic carpet fair ride since she was a pre-teen. “I was instantly attracted to him sexually and mentally,” she said of the ride in an interview. She reportedly carries some of the nuts and bolts with her to help her feel closer to the ride.
Next: This union makes Sheldon Cooper’s love of trains look like child’s play.
Woman marries a train station
It was reported in spring of 2017 that Carol Santa Fe, 45, was married to the Santa Fe train station in Southern California. Santa Fe alleges that she has been in love with the train station since she was nine years old and says that she “mentally” has sex with the building.
Next: The cool side of the pillow just got a bit steamier.
Man marries a body pillow
We’ve heard of body pillows saving relationships before. But becoming half of the relationship? That just sounds silly. But it didn’t seem silly for a Korean man named Lee Jin-gyu who became so obsessed with his Anime body pillow that he fitted it in a wedding dress and married it.
Next: A love for Lady Liberty… from across the pond?
Woman wants to marry the Statue of Liberty?
So this marriage hasn’t come to fruition… yet. But it could. (If someone can marry the Eiffel Tower, then why not Lady Liberty?) Such is the case for Amanda Whittaker, a shop assistant from Leeds who is diagnosed with OS. Her love stands with the Statue of Liberty, which she calls by the pet name ‘Libby.’ Whittaker said in an interview that she wants to marry the statue but isn’t sure because “so many others love her too.”
Next: Hopefully, for her sake, this bridge won’t come falling down.
Woman marries a bridge
Australian woman Jodi Rose married French bridge Le Pont du Diable in 2013, after travelling the world and seeing many other bridges. On her wedding day, the Daily Mail reports, Mrs. Rose Pont du Diable said that “his (the bridge’s) being is very present, and I feel at peace in his strong embrace.”
Next: We’ve heard of getting married by the water before. But this?
Yes, a dolphin is a living breathing animal, and not an inanimate object. But it still isn’t human, which makes this union bizarre. In 2006, British citizen Sharon Tendy became the first human to marry a dolphin when she “tied the knot” with Cindy the dolphin at Dolphin Reef in Eliat, in southern Israel.
Next: Sometimes, you just have to let go.
We all know that one person that can’t let go of a sick and dying pet. But for a German man named Uwe Mitzscherlich, that meant tying the knot with his four-legged friend Cecilia before she went to kitty heaven. Mitzscherlich reportedly paid an actress 300 euros to officiate the non-legally binding wedding.
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