15 Real Quotes Melania Trump and Anyone Who’s Been Cheated on Can Relate To

There’s no worse feeling than being cheated on, and if anyone knows that pain best, it’s Melania Trump. It’s a feeling that is hard to quantify. How do you properly explain the feeling of getting your heart ripped out of your chest and still be expected to walk around? Some people have tried and some have come close to being able to grasp what that feels like in words. If you have ever been cheated on, here are some words of wisdom for all those stages of grief.

1. Denial is always the hardest part

sad woman in front of her computer

It’s natural to feel in denial at first. | iStock.com/anyaberkut

I was steeped in denial, but my body knew. — Suzanne Finnamore

It’s almost impossible to accept sometimes. Your mind plays tricks on you and won’t let you believe what is actually happening. Deep down inside, your body tells you otherwise.

Next: Even the realization is hard to accept.

2. Denial can come in different forms as well

Sad woman lying on the couch at night

The news can be seriously shocking if you don’t expect it. | iStock.com/tommaso79

It might sound ordinary for a woman to find out her husband’s cheating on her, but not if you’re the woman and it’s your husband. — Melissa Bank

The shock of learning about your loved one cheating on you can make your mind play tricks on you. You sometimes can’t even believe it is real. It takes longer than other things to really sink in.

Next: Being honest with yourself is almost as hard as the reality.

3. Telling yourself the truth is very hard

Sad girl crying and a friend comforting her outdoors

It can be difficult to accept how things really are. | iStock.com/AntonioGuillem

When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you’re both lying to you! — Susan Forward

Accepting the fact that you are or have been cheated on takes a long time. You are often denying it is or has happened. You lie to yourself for a very long time.

Next: Eventually your eyes open up … and your claws emerge. 

4. When you start to see the truth, anger can be very comforting

Couple arguing

Feeling angry? That’s also very common. | master1305/iStock/Getty Images

 F*ck You for cheating on me. F*ck you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. — David Levithan

Once you get past the denial stage, you begin to feel so much anger for what they have done to you. And your anger can’t be explained except through a volley of harsh words.

Next: Sometimes, the anger can show you the truth in someone. 

5. Anger lets you see them for who they are

woman angrily looking at her phone

It’s OK to express your true feelings. | fizkes/iStock/Getty Images

When would he realize that it wasn’t his infidelity I couldn’t bear, but his cowardice? — Tatiana de Rosnay

Once you know they cheated, you start to see them for who they really are. They are the ones you despise the most in this world. And yes, they are always cowards.

Next: Anger can bring you a strength you never knew.

6. Anger lets you realize your worth … at least for a while

woman walking on a beach alone

Don’t forget that you’re worth so much more. | iStock.com/RossHelen

… there was only one thing that interested her and that was getting into bed with men whenever she’d the chance. And I warned her straight. “You’ll be sorry one day, my girl, and wish you’d got me back.” — Albert Camus

Every person who has ever cheated never knew what they really had. Likely, they will never know what they had. That is their reality and they will continue to make it that way.

Next: Once the anger slips away, you may start bargaining for it to work. 

7. Sometimes you start to think that it could work again

couple at the bar having a coffee

You should think twice about letting a cheater back into your life. | iStock.com/demaerre

We told ourselves we had forever and we never looked back. The problem was that we never really looked ahead. — Crystal Woods

People get back together after one of them has cheated. The problem is that once that line has been crossed, it’s easier for them to cross it again. Almost inevitably, we deny the future that is going to happen.

Next: Bargaining can even come from the other side.

8. Being with the person you cheated on can be hard as well

Couple making salad together in the Kitchen

You might find it very hard to forgive. | iStock.com

… I feel like a traitor, a phony, a fake. But I am a hypocrite with the best intentions, and I need kissing desperately. — Coco J. Ginger

It’s hard to leave the person you have been so committed to. You have created a life, a schedule, and a purpose with them. All that tends to comfort the pain is their embrace, so you return to it.

Next: Then we start to create uncertainty in the violation.

9. We can make the cheating seem like there is a gray area

Couple taking photo of themselves on cruise

It’s important to take all considerations into account. | michaeljung/iStock/Getty Images

Everyone loves to hate a cheater. We like to think we can see the world through a moral sense of right and wrong and take a black-and-white lens to cheating — that the cheater is always bad and the victim is always right. But often it’s not that simple. — Tammy Nelson, Ph.D.

A lot of the time, these situations can be very hard to see a clear line. That dedication to the relationship draws us to believe that it can work. Nothing is ever simple.

Next: After that fails, we can fall into a deep hole.

10. When the realization that it isn’t going to work sets in

woman with her hand on her forehead looking sad

We know this feeling is extremely scary. | iStock.com/grinvalds

The truly scary thing about undiscovered lies is that they have a greater capacity to diminish us than exposed ones. — Cheryl Hughes

The hardest part about the cheating is that all the lies come piling up at once. What we thought were small things, now become the death of a thousand paper cuts. This can destroy us and lead to a dark depression.

Next: It’s a lot to put on someone’s shoulders.

11. The burden is just shifted

a person confessing his mistakes to his disappointed wife

Knowing your loved one cheated on you can feel really heavy. | Dolgachov/ iStock/Getty Images Plus

You told me anyway, even though I didn’t want to know. A stupid drunken fling while you were visiting Toby in Austin. Months ago. And the thing I hate the most is knowing how much hinges on my reaction, how your unburdening can only lead to me being burdened. If I lose it now, I will lose you, too. I know that. I hate it. — David Levithan

The weight of knowing that your love cheated on you is the biggest burden. What makes it worse is that they are shifting the guilt they have for the action onto you for you to bear. It’s an almost selfish act.

Next: True loneliness will set in.

12. Eventually, you are just alone

Depressed young woman crying

It’s natural to feel lonely during this time too. | Katarzyna Bialasiewicz/iStock/Getty Images Plus

Sadly enough, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that are left unsaid and never explained. — Jonathan Harnisch

Eventually, you will find yourself alone. That’s the depressing part. What makes it worse is that you never fully understand why. It’s a cruel fact of infidelity.

Next: Then something comes along you didn’t expect: acceptance.

13. Accepting the fact that they cheated can be liberating

Man walking away from his relationship

It’s better to accept it and keep moving forward. | iStock.com

There comes a point where you no longer care if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel or not.
You’re just sick of the tunnel. — Rananta Suzuki

Once you’ve accepted the fact that this person cheated on you and you don’t need to be with them, you are free. The pain will still be with you, but you will be better for it. Nobody should be stuck in that tunnel for too long.

Next: Now you are free to be what you were supposed to be. 

14. Eventually, you will become happier

happy businessman smiling while reading his smartphone

It’s not doom and gloom forever. | iStock.com/Ridofranz

Sometimes we must undergo hardships, breakups, and narcissistic wounds, which shatter the flattering image that we had of ourselves, in order to discover two truths: That we are not who we thought we were; and that the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being. — Jean-Yves Leloup

Every relationship is meant to teach us something. Sometimes it teaches us to make our own happiness and that we don’t need the other one. Your ex proved that when they sought the grass on the other side of the hill.

Next: If all else fails … follow the neon lights.

15. Then, if all else fails, there is another way to deal

a man staring into a glass of brown alcohol

Some people turn to alcohol in times of strife. | OcusFocus/iStock/Getty Images Plus

If you can’t be happy, at least you can be drunk. — Unknown

Whoever said wisdom doesn’t lie at the bottom of a bottle has never been cheated on. It’s not the healthiest way to grieve, it’s not even that constructive. But what it can be for a short time is a good crutch.

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