Women fall out of love every day. However, the loss of these loving feelings doesn’t happen suddenly. Usually one or both partners get too comfortable and stop paying as much attention to each other as they used to. As the relationship begins to slowly break down, the union enters a point of no return. One day you wake up next to each other and realize you’ve become strangers — or worse — enemies. If the woman in your life has recently broken up with you and you can’t seem to figure out what went wrong, here are some reasons why she may have fallen out of love.
1. She doesn’t feel appreciated
If you want your lady to stay in a relationship with you, you’ll need to show her how much she means to you. Make her feel like she is important and loved. If you treat her as if she’s an afterthought, she will begin to feel unappreciated. Expressing your love and appreciation for the woman in your life is one of the best ways to nurture the relationship.
When a woman feels appreciated, she will make more of an effort to make her partner happy in return. Don’t reason that she should already know you appreciate her if she’s still with you. She might just be toughing it out until someone better comes along.
2. The relationship lacks intimacy
When a woman feels emotionally connected, she feels a greater capacity to love and be loved. Psychologists Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski said a woman needs to feel that her partner wants to know and understand her deeply. In their article for Power to Change, Sherven and Sniechowski write:
Most people associate the word intimacy with sex. But real intimacy is so much more than that. It’s about being open, sincerely wanting to know about, understand, learn from, care for, enjoy, like, and love the person you’re with — for who she really is. … [N]o matter the occasion, or even at the end of the day, don’t miss out on being emotionally intimate with the woman you love.
3. Someone else is paying her more attention
An attention-starved partner is bound to stray. A woman needs to know that she is desired and that you are happy to be with her. As soon as someone starts giving her the attention she craves, this can be enough to make her fall out of love with her partner and fall head over heels for the person who is fulfilling her need for love, attention, and approval. Affirm your partner often and don’t take her for granted.
4. You don’t protect and defend her
If your family or friends say something disrespectful, do you come to her aid? Or if a random person at a bar tries to make an advance, do you step in? Of course, women aren’t weak human beings in need of protecting, but they do need to know that you care enough to show concern for their physical and mental welfare. If you demonstrate a lack of concern for her well-being, this sends the message that you don’t care about her at all. You are only in the relationship to get your own needs met. If you really do care, show it with your words and your actions.
5. You don’t support her
A woman needs someone to share her hopes and dreams with. The last thing she needs is someone telling her she isn’t smart enough to get that promotion, or not pretty enough to land that acting role. You should be each other’s cheerleader. So cheer her on and let her know she’s pretty, smart, and doing a good job at just being her. We all need some encouragement from time to time, and there’s no better person to hear it from than the one we love. Nothing is more wounding than being put down by the person who is supposed to be in your corner.
6. She’s lost her independence
In the beginning of your relationship, you and your lady were probably inseparable. But now that some time has passed, she may be making too many compromises to accommodate your needs and missing the freedom of the single life. This can lead to a lot of resentment and cause her to fall out of love in the future.
Randi Gunther, Ph.D., suggests to Psychology Today that you should understand your partner’s most important personal freedoms and not hinder those, and she should do the same for you. You should also let her know she can talk to you about any feelings of entrapment so you can work through them together.
7. You stopped making her laugh
Have you stopped trying to make her laugh? According to a recent study, the more a woman laughs when conversing with a man, the more likely she’s interested. And if both people laugh together, well, that’s an indicator of a definite romantic connection. These results were discovered by Jeffrey Hall, associate professor of communication studies from the University of Kansas, while researching a link between humor and intelligence.
8. You don’t know how to fight fair
Don’t let arguments turn into a blaming match. Humble yourself, and admit when you’re wrong. Also know when to end the argument and come to a compromise. It’s not about who wins or loses. There’s no point in winning a few arguments if you eventually lose your marriage.
“It would be nice if a marriage meant that everyone always got along and never had any disagreements, but that is not how things go down. Whether it is today or 10 years from now, there will be something that starts a fight. Fighting is not necessarily a bad thing when it is done right, when it is fair,” writes Emily Chinnery in Solve Your Marriage Problems Now!
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Additional reporting by Lauren Weiler.