When a woman cheats on her partner, it’s not always a decision made in the heat of the moment. Often there has been a slow breakdown in her relationship that led her to someone else’s arms. Here are some of the reasons why a woman becomes unfaithful.
1. She doesn’t feel cherished
A woman needs to feel loved. If her partner isn’t making her feel like she is valuable and that no one else could make him as happy as she does, this may cause her to seek validation elsewhere.
In a story for Power to Change, psychologists Judith Sherven and James Sniechowski said it’s important for a woman to feel significant. “At the heart of what a man needs to know about a woman is that she wants, even needs to feel special. Special for being who she really is, special in the eyes of the man she loves,” said Sherven and Sniechowski.
2. There’s a lack of physical contact
Touch is important for a relationship to thrive. Without it, both parties will feel taken for granted. If a woman isn’t receiving loving touch on a regular basis, this will cause her to feel as if she’s not desired. Kristine Gasbarre, author of How to Love an American Man, elaborated on this idea. “A woman loves when a man pursues her. Being desired is the core need of a woman’s psyche,” Gasbarre said in a story for The Date Report.
3. She doesn’t feel heard
An important part of building intimacy is not only listening to each other but also hearing each other. A woman wants to feel she is being heard when she speaks. She wants to know her partner is listening with his or her entire being and that they’re able to empathize with her and validate her experiences. Without this connection, she’s more likely to become unfaithful.
April Masini, relationship expert and founder of relationship advice site Ask April, said doing your best to make sure a woman feels heard can help nurture the relationship. Masini told The Cheat Sheet:
Make your partner feel important. One of the biggest complaints women have is that they’re not listened to by their partners. It’s free, it’s not time-consuming, and it sure isn’t fattening to listen to your partner and make them feel heard. In fact, if you listen and then remark or engage on what you’ve heard, you’re not just on your way to better intimacy, chances are, you’re going to have better sex, too.
4. You put her down
If you want your lady to steer clear of cheating, don’t be harsh. If you say rude things and regularly inject your conversations with criticism and put-downs, the instant another person treats her well and says something nice will likely be the moment you’ve lost her. If you don’t do anything to boost her self-esteem and make her feel good, someone else will.
5. The sex is bad
If you’re not laying down the law in the bedroom, you’ll eventually have a problem on your hands. Women love sex just as much as men, so don’t be selfish when it comes to pleasing your woman. Masini said it’s important to remember to keep things interesting:
Get out of the rut you’re in, whether it’s another night of missionary-position sex or the same old routine when you come home from work. Shake it up with a trip, dinner on the floor for an indoor picnic, or a surprise party for a non-birthday. Thursday is reason enough for a party! This sounds goofy, but it’s not. It’s the way you get to know each other and regard each other beyond the mundane. Try doing things differently — not just for your partner, but for yourself, too — and simply getting out of those comfort zones and those ruts will bring you closer with your partner.
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[Editor’s Note: This story was originally published May 31, 2016]