Relationship Advice: This 1 Secret Is the Key to a Healthy Relationship
What is the key to a healthy relationship? To find out, we spoke to Grant Langston, CEO of eHarmony. He discussed the ins and outs of getting the most out of a relationship as well as the results of a new study on the state of happiness in American relationships. Here’s what he had to say.
This is what a healthy relationship looks like
The Cheat Sheet: How would you define a healthy relationship?
Grant Langston: I think it depends on the person, but generally, a healthy relationship is one where two people feel completely comfortable being themselves and feel loved and accepted for who they are. They have open communication, an active sex life, and a wide net of friends. Those who are satisfied with part of their individual lives outside of their relationship, like friends, health, and careers, tend to be happier as well.
Next: The survey.
The love survey
The Cheat Sheet: What prompted eHarmony to conduct a study on relationship satisfaction?
Grant Langston: We are all about meaningful relationships. I was very curious to take the pulse of couples in America, and see where they are these days in terms of relationship satisfaction.
Next: These things can affect relationship happiness.
Issues that can wreck your relationship
The Cheat Sheet: According to eHarmony’s study, what are some issues that affect relationship happiness?
Grant Langston: In the study, we looked at a variety of factors to determine happiness (and subsequent healthiness) of relationships. For the happiest of couples, they shared personality traits like optimism and confidence. They were similar in age, had sex more frequently than average, were willing to compromise, and believed in open communication and therapy. They also had regular date nights and love to do things together – like camping!
Next: This is what makes couples unhappy.
Characteristics of unhappy couples
The Cheat Sheet: What results did you see when it came to unhappy couples?
Grant Langston: For the unhappiest couples, we saw that they had gotten together because they felt it was time to settle down, they had more of an age difference between one another, and they didn’t value quality time or have trust in one another. They also lacked regular intimacy.
Next: Surprising survey findings.
The Cheat Sheet: What were some survey findings that surprised you the most?
Grant Langston: Perhaps the most surprising finding is that gender and age dynamics in relationships are evolving, debunking misconceptions long held about both men and millennials in relationships. The new survey reveals that millennials ages 25 to 34 are the happiest in their relationships, are most likely to be open to compromise, and have open communication despite being of the texting generation. Men were most open to relationship therapy, which is great.
Next: This 1 thing can determine the health of your relationship.
This will help you have a happy relationship
The Cheat Sheet: What is the most important component of a healthy relationship?
Grant Langston: I would say the ability to communicate effectively would be up there as a crucial component of a healthy relationship. In order to improve other parts of the relationship that may need work, talking through the problem is the first step.
Next: Here’s how to stay happy.
Tips for staying happy
The Cheat Sheet: In general, what are some ways for a couple to stay happy in their relationship?
Grant Langston: Couples need to prioritize each other by spending quality time together. This includes romantic gestures, regular outings, shared activities, and traveling. Hold hands in the park, play games, go hiking, and continue to have fun together! Most importantly, be sure to keep up healthy two-way, open communication.
Next: Signs it’s time to call it quits.
This is when it’s time to leave
The Cheat Sheet: What are some clues that it’s time to exit a relationship?
Grant Langston: If your relationship comes to a point where it’s sabotaging individual happiness, you should seriously consider making a change. Take a deeper look at what you and your partner value in life and in your relationship, and see if they align.
Next: Some wise words.
Follow this advice
The Cheat Sheet: Anything to add?
Grant Langston: Life is too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t enhance your life!
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