Relationship Advice That Will Get You Through a Rough Patch
Being in a relationship takes a lot of hard work, and it can be exhausting. It’s not unusual to hit a rough patch at some point. But how do you successfully work through your issues and repair your relationship?
The Cheat Sheet reached out to therapists and relationship experts for their input. We also searched for expert relationship advice from around the web. We got the best advice on how to navigate life’s toughest relationship problems.
Here’s relationship advice that will get you and your partner through a rough patch.
Remember to appreciate your partner
Sometimes couples hit a rough patch in their relationship because they’ve started to take each other for granted. It’s important to take time to show your significant other that you still love and appreciate him or her.
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, a licensed clinical professional counselor and certified Imago Relationship Therapist, says failure to show appreciation can make your partner feel taken advantage of. “This leads to a negative attitude and a disconnect. If it goes on too long, it can lead one to emotionally ‘check out’ of the relationship,” Slatkin told The Cheat Sheet.
Don’t hold grudges
Holding a grudge against your partner will lead to bitterness and eventually a breakdown in the relationship. Resolve disagreements quickly and with kindness. Try to forgive each other so you can move forward.
“When you know how to forgive, you eliminate excess mental and emotional weight that keeps you stuck in repetitive situations, circumstances, and experiences that are not healthy or productive. The only true way to create a more loving, productive, and fulfilling life is by forgiving the past. Releasing the past restores us to the full energy of the present,” says Iyanla Vanzant in Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything.
Address feelings of resentment
Although avoiding conflict might be easier, it will just cause tension to build over time. If something about your partner or the relationship is bothering you, it’s in your best interest to address the issue before your negative feelings come out in an unhealthy way. Unaddressed resentment can make things worse between you and your partner. “It causes people to focus on a negative feeling between them, so until that’s processed and dissolved, that negative remains part of the relationship. Resentment causes people to lash out because they’re unhappy and they feel like they need to blame others,” relationship expert April Masini told The Cheat Sheet.
At some point in your relationship, you will argue. Any couple who tells you they don’t fight is either lying or doesn’t communicate with each other very often. When you and your significant other are having a heated discussion, resist the urge to blame your partner or use unfair tactics just so you can win. Avoid using the silent treatment, calling each other names, or screaming at each other. It’s not important who wins the argument. What’s important is that each person feels heard and that you each have a turn to get your point across.
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