Whether you’ve been with a woman for a few years or your relationship is still new, it’s necessary to demonstrate your appreciation once in a while. Here are a few ways to show you care and light a fire that will make her want to be with only you.
1. Compliment her
Never stop telling your partner how beautiful she is and how happy she makes you feel. You may think these things, but your thoughts aren’t enough to make her feel good. Even if you told her she’s beautiful and intelligent a few days ago, remind her often how stunning and witty you think she is.
Dating expert Nick Notas says it’s important to offer compliments that are genuine and that focus not only on physical appearance but also qualities about her personality or values that you find intriguing. He writes:
You want to express your desire for her, but it should be for a variety of reasons. This also encourages her to open up and display those qualities you like. Remember, no girl wants to feel like just “another notch,” even if it’s just casual. … Generations of women have been wooed by genuine compliments — that’s not changing anytime soon. Appreciate what she has to offer and man up to show your intentions.
2. Cherish her
When a woman stops feeling loved and cherished, a little part of her wilts each day. If you don’t pay attention to her, she may just seek another partner who will make her feel special. Don’t take her for granted by forgetting important dates or not listening when she speaks. The author of relationship blog Romance in Marriage says one way to show a woman how much you love and cherish her is to make her your top priority. “For a woman to be willing to make sacrifices for you, she must see that you are willing to make sacrifices for her. She won’t be willing to sacrifice her comfort for you unless she knows you understand her and will take care of her needs, even at personal sacrifice. Learn your part. She’ll do hers.”
3. Offer support
Many times, a woman wants to simply feel heard. She doesn’t always need you to solve her problems for her. So, when she starts complaining about a bad boss or an annoying co-worker, just let her vent. Psychologist Manjit Kaur Khalsa says when women talk, it is not just to relay information. Women also use dialogue as a way to deepen intimacy. “A woman feels emotionally supported when you listen. It has been shown that men speak 2000 words a day, women, 7000. While men principally talk to relay facts, make a point, or achieve a goal, women speak for all of these reasons as well as for many other reasons such as to relieve stress, create intimacy, and form a bond,” Khalsa writes.
4. Show affection
Touch can be a powerful way to communicate affection. Try holding hands during a walk in the park or a sharing a warm hug. Random touches on the shoulder or gentle brushes on the cheek will make her heart melt. Author Bryan Van Slyke says women rarely tire of receiving affection. “I’ve learned from my wife that there is no limit on how much affection I can show her. In a sense, her cup is always going dry and needs filling up. Even after a few years of marriage, even if there has been some turmoil in the marriage, she still wants you to make a move. So make it!” Slyke writes.
5. Look at her
The longer a couple stays together, the less they look at each other. You’ll notice that as you carry on your conversations you may also be checking email or glancing at the paper. Make an effort to really look into your lady’s eyes and at her face while she is speaking. Giving your full attention is one of the best gifts you can bestow upon the one you love. Studies have asserted that when couples engage in uninterrupted eye contact for at least two minutes they feel closer and more connected.
6. Surprise her
You probably remember what it was like when your relationship first started. You were nervous, stuttering, and most of all, excited. If it’s been a few years (or a lot longer than a few) since you’ve given your lady that feeling again, then it’s time to step it up. Relationship coach Jordan Gray says these surprises don’t have to be too involved — they just have to be unexpected. He suggests, “Did it just snow and she has to get somewhere? Clear the snow off her car. Did she just make a mess in the kitchen and now she’s in the shower? Do the dishes.” Going the extra mile for your lady will make her fall in love all over again.
Follow Sheiresa on Twitter @SheiresaNgo
Additional reporting by Lauren Weiler.