When we make the big decision to get married, the last thing we want to hear is that it may not work out. But while everyone knows that marriage is a bit of a gamble, many people don’t think about the downsides — and there are many legitimate downsides.
The advantages of being single no one talks about
You’ll find all kinds of information on the benefits of marriage, but being single also has real advantages. Those who value their independence, hate drama, and value their friendships over everything else might prefer not to mate for life. In our society, which has been conditioned to believe that we should constantly be seeking The One, someone who stays single on purpose might feel like they’re going against the grain. But there’s nothing wrong with staying single by choice.
Marriage has its benefits, but it’s not for everyone. Here’s why it might be the worst thing you ever do.
You’ll be pressured to have children (or stop having them)
When you get married, many people assume they can ask some pretty personal questions, especially about child-rearing. You’ll be pressured to have kids, if not by overbearing in laws than by “well meaning” friends or other loved ones. And it doesn’t stop there — they’ll be sure to let you know if you should have more, or if you’ve had too many children. Having children is a very personal decision, nut sadly, some don’t see it that way.
You might lose yourself
It’s entirely too easy for people, especially women, to lose themselves once they get married. Sometimes you get so consumed by your relationship and your partner’s desires that you lose sight of your own. There are even numerous self-help books on the subject. This is dangerous — you could end up isolating yourself, become depressed, or find yourself divorced and having no idea who you are.
It could be a financial disaster
When you marry someone, you also marry their credit score. If your spouse has a lot of debt or some serious student loans, that could put a damper on any major purchasing plans to have. Also, it’s extremely difficult to align your spending and saving habits with another person’s.
Routine, auto-pilot sex … for life
Married sex can be extremely passionate and intimate, but only if both partners make a continuous effort to keep it that way. Because you become so comfortable, it’s easy to get into a rut and get lazy with sex. In a time with having sex with only one person for life isn’t all that appealing, the idea of infrequent, dull sex can be a real turnoff.
You’ll have to do things you don’t want to do
Marriage is all about compromise, which can be a good thing … unless you’re set in your ways and don’t enjoy it. Even if you marry “the right person,” you’ll still have to indulge in their hobbies, entertain your in laws, visit places you don’t care about, and watch dozens of movies that don’t entertain you. For some, this isn’t a big deal, but to others, it could lead to some serious resentment.
You could get your heart broken
Putting your full trust in another person is not without its risks. Since half of marriages end in divorce, you’re already aware that walking down the aisle is risky business. But even if you never split, your partner can hurt or disappoint you in many ways. This is the case with all relationships, but when it’s your spouse hurting you, it really stings. Only you can decide if getting married is worth that risk.
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