In the modern age, there’s more than one way to cheat on your partner. There’s physical touch with another, of course, which is always off limits — but there’s also emotional infidelity, where you may be more mentally invested in another person. Or your smartphone can cause some trouble, as stalking your ex on Facebook also counts as unfaithfulness to some.
Whatever the case, research suggests the rate of women who cheat has increased by 40% since 1990. And while some regret their unfaithful acts, others feel just fine. Here are the women who have no qualms, and why.
1. One woman says cheating made her realize she deserved better
While we can’t condone going behind your partner’s back, this woman says cheating on her long-term boyfriend made her realize she deserved better. She tells Cosmopolitan, “I stayed with him because every ounce of confidence I once had was gone.”
Once a friend expressed interest in her, she took the bait and cheated. And she thanks the new man for making her feel wanted and appreciated, and for showing her a happy life outside of her miserable relationship was possible. She left her boyfriend shortly after and remains friends with her secret lover.
Next: Revenge-driven cheating didn’t make her any happier, but she does feel that it was justified.
2. Her husband cheated on her first, so she had an affair in response
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but Lindsay T. tells The Huffington Post her affair was fueled by a need for revenge. “After spending six years with a man who couldn’t stop cheating on me I was emotionally exhausted, depleted, and lingering at rock bottom,” she says. Lindsay cheated out of a need for affection — something her unfaithful husband was not giving her enough of.
We’re not sure if Lindsay is still with her husband, but she hoped cheating would offer her a fresh start and perspective. Perhaps it did just that.
Next: This is exactly the opposite of what we would expect after someone cheats.
3. She cheated on her long-term boyfriend and grew even closer to him afterward
As Shelby R. tells Elite Daily, cheating on her boyfriend of four years turned their entire relationship upside down. And while they were both upset, it caused them to go to couples therapy and rebuild their shaky foundation. “In some weird way, this whole thing made us grow closer,” she says. While she maintains she’d never do it again, it certainly seems like this is exactly what the couple needed as a wake-up call.
Next: She needed to cheat to find out something very revealing about her sexuality.
4. She was unfaithful to her man — with another woman
Jenna tells Esquire UK that it was another woman who grabbed her attention while she was in a relationship. She says she started dating a man she worked with when another new woman at the company started to show interest. Her boyfriend wanted to keep their relationship hidden and became “an increasingly crappier human being” as time passed, which was the push Jenna needed to fall into the arms of someone new.
Jenna cheated on her boyfriend with the new woman at work and dated her afterward, too.
Next: Grief over her deceased mother is what caused this woman to cheat (and not regret it).
5. This grieving woman doesn’t regret cheating on her insensitive boyfriend
One Reddit user asked women who cheated why they don’t regret their actions, and user retrouvailles26 answered. She says her mother died after she was dating her boyfriend for about a year, and he wouldn’t take part in any conversation regarding her grieving. He would quickly change the subject whenever she brought up the topic. And even when she tried to break up with him once, he refused.
She started hanging out with an old friend instead of her boyfriend, and cheated. Now, the Reddit user says she’s married to the guy she was unfaithful with.
Next: This woman had an affair and never told her husband what she was up to.
6. She never told her husband about her cheating ways — but she says it made her a better wife
One woman anonymously tells Thought Catalog about her experience having an affair. She says her husband is a hard worker and cares for her and the family, but his crippling panic attacks and medication decreased his libido. So, after a man helped her fix her flat tire, she had an affair with him. And at the time she wrote in to the publication, she was still seeing this man after seven months with no intention of stopping.
As for any guilt she may have, she says she loves the thrill of having sex with someone else, but she also likes coming home to her husband. And her affair has given her an outlet for her frustrations, making her a better wife.
Next: This woman fell in love with the man she cheated with, but her feelings weren’t reciprocated.
7. She would have regretted her affair if her husband ever found out — but he didn’t
A question on Quora asked, “Have you ever cheated on your husband without regretting it?” and women everywhere answered. Jane Smith comments that she had an affair once, even though her husband didn’t deserve it. If anything, she says, it did bring a lot of emotional pain because she fell for the new man. And Jane’s feelings weren’t reciprocated in the end.
As for her regrets, she says she can live with her cheating ways because her husband never knew, and thus was never hurt. “If he ever found out, it would have [of] course been a different story,” she says.
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