Everyone has at least one female friend that is stuck in a terrible relationship. Not because she can’t leave her toxic bond. But because she simply won’t. This puzzling behavior is common because some women will lie to themselves in order to stay put. Heck, you may be the person lying about staying in a bad union. Wondering what these common lies are? Some of these may shock you.
‘I’m really close with his family’
This reasoning is all too common when it comes to staying in a bad relationship. Yes, letting go of an ex’s family can be incredibly difficult. But it shouldn’t be an excuse for staying with someone that is a toxic match. At the end of the day your partner is the person you have to be on good terms with — not their kin. And yet, many women still use their in-laws as a reason for staying in a tumultuous union.
‘We’ve been through so much’
It’s understandable to want to cling to someone that was by your side when you went through a difficult time. But some women take this to the extreme — telling themselves that it’s okay to stay in a toxic relationship because their significant other was once their support system. This lie becomes even worse if the partner has replaced support with constant criticism. “If moral support is in short supply or if nitpicking and criticism are constants in the relationship, it’s a very troubling sign,” psychologist Alicia H. Clark tells Huff Post.
‘This bad relationship is completely normal’
Couples go through rough patches, of course. But some women will tell themselves that an ongoing problem is perfectly fine, just so they can stay in a relationship. Psychology Today explains that this is because often times, individuals have low expectations for their relationships. For example, let’s say a woman has a significant other who lies about money on a regular basis. If her sub-par relationship expectations are met, she may convince herself that dishonesty is commonplace.
‘I mean, it’s partially my fault anyways’
One of the most harmful lies a woman can tell herself is that she is the one completely to blame, not her partner. This comes from fear of not being about to control her partner’s bad temper, bad habits, and all-around bad behavior. Psychology Today explains, “We all inevitably turn to self-doubt when we’re afraid we can’t control our experience.”
‘[Insert name] just has a lot going on right now’
When a woman’s partner is mean or neglectful, it’s common for her to explain it away saying it’s due to her partner going through a difficult time. And sure, we tend to take bad days and personal issues out on the ones we love. But lies insinuating that your significant other has the right to treat you badly just gives him or her the go ahead to keep treating you poorly.
‘We share too many things’
This is where things get a little tricky. Sharing financials and belongings with your significant other can make the thought of a split seem more difficult. (It’s gets even more tough if there are children involved.) What’s scary is that some women will stay in a bad relationship, even an abusive one, out of fear of losing assets, or financial stability.
Heck, all relationships are complicated. Even long-standing happy marriages have complicated aspects. But when it comes to ending a toxic relationship, falling short and claiming it’s just “complicated” is a cop out. To someone outside of the relationship, dismissing problems and calling it complicated sounds like an obvious excuse. Yet, many women still tell themselves and others this lie.
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