If you think your love might be cheating on you, more often than not, you’re probably right. But before you reach for the scissors and start cutting up clothes and planning how to burn the house down, take a few moments to make sure your gut instinct is really leading you in the right direction. While it may not be immediately obvious, there are some tell-tale signs of infidelity. Here are a few red flags that indicate your gut feeling might be right.
1. Sudden attention to appearance
If your love suddenly begins to fuss in the mirror and takes hours to pick out the perfect underwear, you may have a problem brewing. Also pay attention to purchases. Is your honey shelling out major cash on a new wardrobe for stylish clothes that you never see when the two of you go out? You should start questioning where these clothes are actually being worn and why it’s such an obsession lately.
“Gals, is he suddenly showering and shaving every day when it used to be a few times a week? Guys, has your lady suddenly started grooming or shaping “down there” when she previously left it alone? It might be a sign they are cheating,” certified dating coach Hunt Ethridge told The Cheat Sheet.
2. Dramatic decline or increase in sex
If your partner is suddenly disinterested in sex — or the opposite — always ready to take off their clothes and go all in, you should take a closer look at this behavior. Why is he or she suddenly not interested or suddenly insatiable? An unusual change in sex drive needs to be explored.
“… [Has] your sex life dramatically changed? Either you’re doing it more or a whole lot less? Often, when a spouse cheats, their libido increases and it can be a pleasant surprise at first. Or, perhaps your spouse shuts down sexually towards you. They avoid intimacy. These are both tell-tale signs that may point to infidelity. A less obvious sign would be if your spouse changes a habit or interest. Maybe they start working out at the gym every day. Or they start listening to a new style of music for no apparent reason. If there’s a curious new behavior that nags at your gut, you may want to tune in and listen,” Lisa Steadman, relationship expert and author of It’s a Breakup Not a Breakdown, told The Cheat Sheet.
3. Frequent showers
Another behavior change to look out for: The sudden urge to shower immediately upon getting home. If your significant other makes a bee line for the shower without so much as a glance or kiss hello, something is up. And something is definitely wrong if you were once invited to join, but now your advances are rebuffed.
“If something feels ‘off’ to you in your relationship, don’t ignore this and try to bury your concerns or wait it out. Don’t stand by and say nothing because you’re scared. Ignorance might feel more pleasant (if not blissful) in the moment, but it will almost always cost you in the long run,” said relationship expert Lisa McKay in 21 Important Things To Do If You Suspect Your Partner Is Cheating.
4. Mysterious calls
Is your love’s cell phone constantly ringing? Be suspicious if you notice your guy or girl sneaking off to take mysterious calls, or if he or she frequently ignores the phone whenever it rings in your presence. If you want to know what’s going on, you can ask, but you might not get a straight answer.
“Your partner receives regular texts, emails, or sexy photos from a ‘friend’ you weren’t aware of. Suddenly, they’re conducting mysterious calls in the other room and when you ask who called, the answer is… ‘no one,’ ‘wrong number, ‘it’s business,’ or ‘why do you ask?” marriage and family therapist Sheri Meyers writes in The Huffington Post.