Do you suspect your partner is hiding something from you? Your suspicions might be right. There may be several reasons for your partner’s secretiveness ranging from an affair to a bad financial habit. It could even be something more serious like an addiction. Regardless of the reason, secrets can erode a relationship over time.
Psychotherapist Julie Orlov said keeping secrets may not appear to cause harm initially, but they can eventually cause relationship problems. In her eHarmony column, Orlov writes, “While on the surface they may seem innocent enough, in the long run, keeping secrets in order to avoid confrontation, conflict, manipulation, or in some cases, potential divorce, wreaks havoc on the health and well-being of any relationship. And while these little white lies or omissions may appear to work in keeping the peace in the short run, in the long run, both people lose.”
Here are some signs that your partner is keeping a secret.
1. Your partner pulls a disappearing act
Does your partner go missing for extended periods of time and you have no idea where he or she went? Something is definitely up if you can’t explain how your partner spends his or her time. Partners should practice common courtesy by relaying where they’re going and when they expect to be back. Unaccounted time will just lead to suspicions and misunderstandings.
2. Unusual spending habits
If you see receipts from unfamiliar stores or for items you never end up seeing, be on guard. These could be signs of a spending problem or gifts for someone new. Also be on the alert if money in your joint bank account starts dwindling. Financial infidelity is one of the top causes for a break up. If you see something unusual happening with the way your significant other is handling finances, it’s time to have a talk.
3. Significant changes in behavior
If your partner is suddenly agitated all the time or recently excessively happy, this could be a clue. When there is an unexpected behavior shift, it usually means there’s something happening in your partner’s life that has changed his or her outlook on life. If your partner isn’t sharing what that something is, this could signal trouble. Partners should be able to freely share life’s ups and downs, so it’s a clear warning sign when something significant has happened without any sort of discussion. Your partner could be sharing this information with someone else, so be aware.
4. Sudden schedule changes
It’s also important to take notice if there are sudden schedule changes. Is your partner now looking for excuses to work late or leave home earlier without any explanation? Another sign is sudden changes in gas mileage. If the car is covering significantly more ground than what it would be for simply from traveling to work and back home, you may want to start asking a few questions.