Letting go can be difficult and possibly one of the toughest things we’ll face in life. Accepting the fact that you’re not with the right person can be devastating, and realizing the signs that have led to this point is key in learning from past mistakes. No one wants to feel like a failure, but if any of these things are staring you right in the face, count your blessings — consider yourself lucky that you’re able to recognize that it’s time to break up with him or her and move on.
1. Your significant other treats you differently around others
You know what no one ever likes? Feeling like they can’t be fully themselves around a partner in public situations. If you’re going to act all lovey-dovey when you spend the night, then barely even say hello when the two of you meet up with friends after work at the bar, you’re certainly not doing much to earn, or keep, the other person’s trust.
2. You worry what will come out of your significant other’s mouth in public
Are you nervous your partner will say something negative about your friend in front of others? Are you constantly keeping guard to make sure your partner isn’t monopolizing the conversation and annoying the group with incessant chatter? You shouldn’t have to be a babysitter and on the lookout every time you two socialize with friends.
3. You are constantly making excuses for your significant other
You know that feeling — when you are constantly covering your partner’s behind and defending him or her to your friends. Remember, your friends usually have your best interests at heart. If they keep pointing things out that are irritating about your significant other, and you feel as though your partner needs constant defending, it’s not likely this will ever change.
4. You feel as though you are constantly on the defensive
Though all relationships require a certain amount of work, they should be fun, happy, and relatively easy. Call it emotional abuse or call it just being a jerk, but whatever you call it, your partner shouldn’t be putting you on the defensive with every argument or conversation. If he or she has the undesirable ability to turn everything around on you, your partner is clearly not mature enough to be in a committed, adult relationship.
5. Your significant other is incapable of having an adult conversation
Sometimes, it takes courage to work up the nerve to approach a sensitive subject with your partner. Problems in the bedroom, how he or she hurt your feelings with a certain comment, or the fact that you tell him or her you don’t like the way your were spoken to the other day — these are just a couple things that couples may need to discuss. If your partner simply responds with, “That’s fine, you don’t have to be with me,” then your partner clearly doesn’t value your feelings.
6. You’re always the one bending over backward
If your partner tends to be in a less-than-good mood more often than not, chances are, you have to overcompensate, showering them with compliments and stroking their ego. But this is clearly not fair. Why should you have to sacrifice your happiness and constantly have to worry about making your partner feel at ease and babying him or her, when he or she does not do the same for you nor care when you are having a bad day?
7. Your partner doesn’t want to be held accountable
It’s just not fair when you’re making all the plans. A relationship should be a compromise between two partners — equals, simple as that. When your partner casually mentions taking a trip or meeting up for dinner, but then never follows through, it just means they’re not thinking of you as much as you are them. What’s more? If you often find yourself out and about with friends, but your significant other is never to be found, your friends will naturally ask where he or she is or what they’re up to. When you’re not able to answer, it wears on you and probably means your partner does not care to keep you in the loop — or care to stay in touch on a daily basis, for that matter.
8. You know more about your partner than he or she knows about you
I’m not talking about not knowing your partner’s waist size at the drop of a hat, but rather much more important topics in your life about which your partner has no clue. If you can recite the name of your partner’s childhood dog, their political views, favorite brands, and the names and professions of each of their siblings, yet he or she can barely recall your date of birth, it’s probably a sign that you are far more invested in the relationship than your partner is, and it’s probably time to face the music and call it quits.