Are you ready to take your relationship to the next level, but you’re picking up some resistance? If you’ve been waiting for your partner to take the next step toward a serious relationship, in some cases you could be waiting for a very long time. There’s a possibility he or she is not ready to get serious right now — or ever. Here are a few signs your devotion is completely one-sided.
1. No one knows you’re dating
If you’ve been seriously dating for a while and still haven’t been introduced to family and friends, something is wrong. Eyebrows should raise if your date introduces you as a “friend” or doesn’t introduce you at all when you run into someone he or she knows well. The reason for the lack of introduction could be a lot of things. You could just be a fling or a dirty little secret because your partner’s friends and family might object if they met you.
The worst case scenario? Your new love might be married. Whatever the reason, it will be important to ask where you stand and learn the reason for the rude behavior.
2. Your partner occasionally disappears
When you try to make plans, your partner may be difficult to contact. And when you call and leave a message, sometimes it takes days to hear back. At times it may seem like you get very close, and then all of a sudden your partner pulls away without warning. He or she could have fears of commitment due to a past hurt or lingering doubts about the relationship.
3. Very little effort is made to see you
Are dates constantly being rescheduled or cancelled? If you’re always the one initiating dates and your partner often seems too busy to meet up, he or she is looking for ways to create distance. If your love goes out of his or her way to create an emotional buffer and slow down the pace of the relationship, even after months of dating, this is an indication they’re just not ready to move forward. If someone is truly interested in getting serious, effort will be made to see you.
4. Conversations about the future are avoided
Even if you just casually bring up where the relationship is headed, the subject is redirected or shut down completely. This is a red flag. If your partner is uncomfortable with making long-term plans, you may not be together for years to come. If you’re not concerned about getting serious, that’s fine, but if you had hopes of marriage and babies, you should get some answers as soon as you can and prepare yourself for the possible end of the relationship.
5. You have petty arguments
Do you and your partner argue all the time about issues that could be easily solved? Does it seem as if your partner is always looking for a fight? It can be very unpleasant to be in a relationship with someone who is argumentative. A red flag should go up if your partner seems to fly off the handle in response to the slightest disagreement.
6. Dates are frequently cancelled
Does your partner often make plans with you only to cancel at a moment’s notice? Unless he or she has a legitimate excuse, frequent cancellations aren’t acceptable. This demonstrates you’re not much of a priority. When the person you’re dating is fully committed to the relationship, you won’t be ditched at the last minute for a night out with the guys (or girls).
7. You rarely have serious conversations
When is the last time you had a substantive conversation? If your partner can only seem to have surface-level communication with you, this could be an indication he or she isn’t interested in getting to know you well enough to have a serious relationship. Either you’re with a serial dater or you’re with someone who doesn’t have that many interests.
8. Your partner won’t compromise
One sign your partner is unable to handle a serious relationship is his or her unwillingness to compromise on certain issues. If your partner refuses to meet you halfway, this shows a lack of concern and care. Relationship expert Sheri Stritof says its unhealthy for one partner to believe the way they do things is the only correct method. “One of the worst things you can do in your marriage is to believe that your way is the only way, or to go the route of saying ‘whatever.’ Both approaches are ways to avoid listening and communicating with your spouse,” said Stritof on her blog.
9. Your partner has been cheating
If you and your partner have agreed to be monogamous, you should both honor this commitment. Betrayal of your trust is a clear sign your partner is not ready to be part of a serious relationship. If you really want to work on the relationship despite the cheating, you can try seeing a couples therapist, but your partner has to have a desire to change. If you’re still early into your relationship and your partner is already cheating on you, it might be best to cut your losses and move on.
10. Your partner consistently lies to you
Everyone lies at one point or another. However, if your partner lies often, he or she isn’t mature enough to communicate in a way that doesn’t involve hiding the truth. Someone who is ready for a relationship will be able to honestly address the tough topics that come up during a partnership. You shouldn’t have to wonder where your partner has been all night or worry he or she is lying about a mysterious phone call.
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