Finding your soul mate is an incredible feeling, but not all people experience it. For some, it can take time to realize that the one their with isn’t their best match after all. If you’re still not quite sure you’re with the person you’re meant to be with forever — and yes, we realize “forever” is a rather impossible length of time to grasp — it may be time to call it quits. Just remember, even if you and your partner aren’t soul mates, you can still cherish the time you’ve had together. But if you’re wondering whether or not it’s time go your separate ways, here are 10 signs you need to look out for.
1. You’re not totally sure
Choosing the best partner for you is a major undertaking; arguably one of the most important decisions of your life. Regardless of whether you want to be married or remain partners forever without having an official ceremony, committing to one person undoubtedly requires a few things. For one, you have to be totally sure about it. Though nothing will ever be perfect, you can’t make the commitment to be together forever if you don’t truly believe you’re with the right person.
2. You’re worried about introducing them to your family
Meeting the parents is a huge deal. Most people put a good amount of thought into when they’ll be ready to finally introduce their partner to the family. Not every partner you’ve had has gotten to that point, which means there’s probably a good reason you’re no longer with them today. So, if you’re still not willing to make the introductions, even though you’ve been together for a significant amount of time, consider your hesitation a major red flag.
3. Your partner isn’t the first person you want to share things with
You just found out you got that big promotion. Or you’re struck with a brilliant idea for the next trip you want to take. The very first person you can’t wait to tell is your significant other. Or, at least it should be. Barring any information that doesn’t qualify as exciting or need-to-know, it’s natural to want to share your good news, and overall joy, with your partner. If you don’t feel this way, though, it may be time to move on.
4. You don’t prioritize alone time
Spending time both as a couple and as individuals is important. Without a social life outside of your relationship, you can all too easily slip into a pattern of hermit-like behavior. On the other hand, you have to make sure you spend quality time with your friends. Finding a balance that works for you as a couple is important, but if you’ve been tipped too far to one side of the spectrum for too long, you may be trying to avoid a bigger issue within the relationship; one you need to address when you’re alone.
5. You’re concerned your partner isn’t good on paper
Lots of people have some sort of checklist when it comes to choosing a significant other. For example, your partner needs to have a good career, come from a close-knit family, and share the same religious views as you. Whatever your criteria may be, most people will never end up checking all those boxes, because nobody’s perfect. But, if you’re so obsessed with your partner being good on paper, you won’t be able to see past the fairy tale idea of it all. If you’re so bothered by the fact that you’re with someone who’s not up to your standards, it clearly won’t work.
6. You’re better off single
Some folks are just meant to be single. Simple as that. While it’s perfectly acceptable to be on your own now, and later in life, trying to make a relationship work when it’s not going to is nothing more than a waste of time.
7. You feel like you’ve wasted a bunch of time
Relationships require a serious amount of time, energy, and commitment for each person involved. And because we’ve still not invented a time machine, this is time you’ll never get back. If you feel like you’ve completely wasted the past however many weeks, months, or years, on the other hand, you’re definitely not with your soul mate.
8. You haven’t learned anything along the way
Even if a relationship doesn’t work out, there are valuable lessons to be learned from spending any amount of time with a significant other. Not only do you learn about the other person, but you learn things about yourself, too; things you may not always want to acknowledge. Maybe you’ve become a better communicator, or have honed your intimacy skills. Whatever the case, a big part of a successful relationship is growing as a couple and as an individual. If you’ve learned absolutely nothing, though, you’re just not meant to be.
9. You don’t respect one another
Respect is a vital component of any healthy relationship. And looking at how your partner treats you can reveal a lot. If there’s a lack of respect, it’s a telltale sign you’re not with the right person. There are many different ways people show, and like to be shown respect, and if you’re not getting it from your partner, it’s time to cut the cord. A disrespectful partner is certainly not soul mate material.
10. You’re not comfortable in silence
Ever had an awkward silence with someone? Your partner shouldn’t be one of them. But unfortunately, it’s the reality for some couples. They’re unable to sit and share a comfortable silence with one another. If you feel this way around you significant other, take it as a surefire sign you’re not soul mates after all.