The Best Marriage Proposal Ever: 6 Tips to Help You Plan
The day you get down on one knee in front of the woman you love and ask her to spend her life with you is a special moment and a scary one. No matter how confident you are in your relationship (and that she’ll say yes) when it comes down to the moment, a proposal is always terrifying. You’re putting your heart on the line and blurting out all sorts of mushy stuff. Expect tears and shaking hands.
A proposal is a huge turning point in a couple’s relationship. It takes you from boyfriend to fiancé and once you cross over to fiancé, husband isn’t far behind. This pivotal moment deserves some planning and time on your part. Don’t ask her without a ring and don’t ask her out of the blue just because she did something cute or you just made up from a fight. You need to make it special. Your engagement is a story you will tell your friends, family, and someday, your kids. To get it right, make sure to follow these foolproof tips.
1. Get on the same page
Save yourself a lot of heartache and embarrassment by making sure she’s on the same page. In a low-key setting, bring up marriage and ask her how she feels about it. Find out where she sees your relationship going. Before you move forward, be confident that you both want to move toward marriage. There is nothing worse than picking out a ring and popping the question only to find out you didn’t do your research and your girl never wants to get married.
2. Involve her parents (or not)
Historically the groom asking for his future in-laws blessing was required. Today the rules aren’t so black and white. According to Your Engagement 101 you’ll need to determine what your girl would want. If she puts a lot of value on family and tradition, you’ll need to ask for their blessing. If she is very liberal in her values and isn’t close to her family, you can skip this one. If you’re unsure, play it safe and at least meet with her parents before you pop the question and let them know your plans. If she is close to either of her parents, it’s a safe bet to make the effort and include them. Not only will they appreciate it (parents love that sort of thing), but it also shows to them and her that you are serious and want to start this marriage off on the right foot.
3. Ask the right questions
To play it safe you’ll want to play detective for several months. Your goal is to find out what sort of proposal she dreams of. If she’s the marrying type, she has one. Whether she daydreams about a public proposal at a Mumford & Son’s concert, a destination proposal on a beach, or an at-home proposal with just the two of you, it’s your job to find out what she wants and make it happen. Ask her best friend, listen to how she reacts to friend’s proposals, and if needed, ask her. The biggest thing to consider is public versus private. Some girl think the grand public proposal is romantic, while other girls dread it. Make sure you have gleaned enough information before your start planning. For a full list of awesome, creative ideas for every proposal type check out this list by The Knot.
4. Get the ring
Before you swing by your local jewelry store and pick up a rock, you’ll need to do your research. This is a ring she’ll be wearing for the rest of her life, so make sure she likes it. You’ll need to find out at least three specifications: metal type, stone type, and the cut of the rock. She knows down to the last detail what she wants, and it’s your job to find out what that is. The best way to go about this is to ask her best friend to dig up the details for you. Depending on your relationship and how open you’ve been about the topic of marriage so far, you may be able to ask your girl for hints or ideas of what she likes. Take whatever information you glean and make the best possible choice. Wondering how much to spend? The traditional rule is three months gross salary, but this article by Financial Samurai has alternate suggestions.
5. Make a plan
Based on the information you gleaned in Step 3, start making a plan. Book tickets to Aruba, plan her favorite home cooked meal, or book reservations at her favorite restaurant and comedy club. If your plan requires an element of surprise, be careful with your planning. Do you want to have the proposal filmed or photographed? Then get a tight-lipped friend involved. There is nothing worse than having her find out what you’re doing before you do it. If you’ve bought the ring, keep it hidden somewhere she would never stumble across, like your fishing tackle box or the locked drawer in the desk at your office. Be smart and let the waiting game begin!
6. Bring on the romance
Regardless of what sort of proposal you decided on, take some time to think about what you will say. Remember what made you love her in the first place and what made you decide you wanted to marry her. Be original in your wording and tailor it to her and your relationship. Express how she makes you feel and what you love about her. To get the ball rolling, check out these tips and ideas from Love To Know for inspiration what to say when the moment comes. Aside from what you’re going to say, make a point to consider your body language. Will you get down on one knee? Hold her hand or hold her in your arms? Make sure your physical actions are also conveying your love for her during and after the proposal.