Gone are the days of courting and chivalry, which itself is slowly fading into the past, reserved for a pre-technology/Internet period that none of us seem to remember. We are in the post-modern dating era, where it’s socially acceptable, albeit rude, to not break up with someone in person, and also where it is quite feasible to maintain a relationship by texting what you feel. Whatever happened to verbal arguments? Enter: angry emoji’s and cowardly arguments via text. Dating has changed drastically even during the past ten years, leaving us without proper dating etiquette. Emily Post would turn over in her grave at the thought of gentleman (what’s that?) not returning a text or a call. So, how should we be dating in this messy world of dating apps, texting, and emoji’s?
Here are some steadfast rules to tackling modern dating like a true gentleman, because you need to save this dying breed.
Don’t lie on your dating profile
Although lying is as common place as chewing gum, and as old as time itself, don’t lie about anything on your online dating profile. We have the tendency to fib, in general, and fluff our online dating profiles, but beginning a relationship where lies are already present means it is doomed from the start. The Internet can be a wild and crazy place filled with information about yourself, available for the world to see, meaning that it’s easy to get caught in a lie. The right person will love you for who you are and it’s wrong to start off any relationship with the assumption of a lie. It’s almost guaranteed it will go nowhere, and as they say, the truth always comes out in the end. Avoid the hurt and be true to yourself.
One of the most memorable and polite things you can do while dating, be it planning the first date or calling them afterward (which we’ll get to later), is using this ancient contraption called a phone — just make sure you use the voice/speaking part of it. Calling instead of texting is the right (and gentlemanly) thing to do. Girls may be put off initially, but women will cherish this. So many men forget about the power of their voice.
Do go out on an actual date
Dating in some weird way, feels ancient, especially with our generation succumbing to what is coined hookup-culture, in which dating exists in the form of hookups and sex, and then maybe if the sex is great, it will eventually turn into a relationship. Traditionally, it is the other way around. Getting to know someone is a very scary thing; having sex is the easy part. Break the pattern and go on an actual date (dinner, movies, etc.). This will absolutely make you stand out from the pack and leave a lasting impression.
Don’t drink too much
Please don’t do this. First dates are awkward and sometimes a little alcohol can ease your nerves, but don’t overdo it. It’s not impressive that you can drink like a fish. Limit your alcohol intake to two drinks max.
Don’t leave your phone out on the table
Unless there is a really important call that you’re waiting for or someone is about to go into labor (hopefully this has nothing directly to do with you), put your phone away. If you must keep it out, let your date know why. Nothing says rudeness or I’m-just-not-that-into-you like texting other people or answering emails while on a date.
Do treat her like a lady
No matter what your preconceived notions of your date are, as well as your expectations for after the date, be respectful and treat her like a lady. Most, if not all, women want romance. Hold the door for her, let her go first, and pull out her chair. Somewhere between the Internet boom and our Twitter addiction, our manners seemed to drift into the past. Make yourself stand out from the rest as a true gentleman.
Don’t split the first check
Modern women are independent and strong and don’t need a man to validate them in any way, but there is still something to be said about a man taking care of that first bill. Call me old-fashioned, but going dutch on a first date is a major turnoff. Understandably, things are different today, and dating is expensive, but do your best to try and cover the bill. Go somewhere where you can afford, even if it means just going for coffee (and there is nothing wrong with that!). It’s the traditionally gentlemanly thing to. Once in a relationship, working out the bills becomes a little bit easier.
Do call the next day (or that night)
In this instance, if you went on a date and didn’t get home too late, you can text her to tell her you had a nice time and ask her out again. Don’t wait more than two days to call and don’t ignore text messages. We’re all busy and have lives, but you are NEVER too busy to return a text that takes approximately two seconds to type. Even if it turns out you’re not interested, don’t be that guy that ignores people. Come on — you’re better than that!