Feeling Envious? 3 Ways You Can Crush Jealousy
Has the green-eyed monster gotten a hold of you? When life isn’t going the way you would like, it’s normal to become a little jealous of those who seem to be doing better than you. However, jealousy has a way of changing you into a person who is not very pleasant to be around. Most of the time, jealousy is more about how you feel about yourself, and not so much what someone else has.
“When you notice that you are feeling jealous, take a moment, breathe slowly, and observe your thoughts and feelings. Recognize that jealous thoughts are not the same thing as a reality,” psychologist Robert L. Leahy writes in Psychology Today.
In order for you to get over this hurdle, you’ll have to take some time to work on how you see yourself. Here are some tips for tackling feelings of jealousy and learning how to feel better about yourself.
1. Stop comparing yourself
First thing’s first. Stop comparing yourself to those around you. The reality is, there will always be someone smarter, more attractive, richer, or better than you at something, but there is only one you. Try to appreciate yourself and all that is unique about you. When you start to compare yourself, it just breaks you down to the point where you believe you are not as valuable as the person you believe is better than you. Know that you have value and that you have something to offer the world.
“You were created to be exactly who you are. There is only one you in the world and you are beautiful. If the person you are with doesn’t celebrate the gifts and talents you possess, surround yourself with people who do,” Stanley Steel said in How to Not Be Jealous.
2. Build self-esteem
Find at least one thing about yourself to feel good about. If you can’t think of anything, make a list. Do not give up on this exercise until you write down that one thing. If you still have trouble coming up with something, call up a close friend and ask him or her to talk about the qualities that make you awesome. Before you know it, you’ll start to feel a little bit more confident.
“Take comfort in the fact that there isn’t a single person in the world who is perfect, not even the colleague sitting next to you right now who never seems flustered and is brimming with self-confidence. The difference is that they know they aren’t perfect, they don’t dwell on the fact and they have accepted their weaknesses, concentrating on their strengths to help them get through the day,” Andy C.E. Brown said in Self Confidence: 52 Proven Ways to Gain Self-Esteem.
3. Focus on the positive
Don’t dwell on what you can’t do. Emphasize what you are excellent at and focus on these things. When you only concentrate on what you do poorly, you will start to believe that you can’t do anything right. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
“Think of all the things you are good at. Maybe you have outstanding organizational skills, you type fast and you handle everything thrown at you at work quickly and effectively. Your weakness may be that you aren’t very social and are nervous in crowds or with public speaking. Therefore; I recommend you remove yourself from these situations and don’t choose a job where you will be required to manage meetings or speak in front of everyone in the office,” said Brown.