The Right (and Wrong) Ways to Flirt With a Woman

Portrait of unhappy confused woman, couple, flirting

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From the moment you discover the opposite sex, or at least the moment you realize that boys and girls are different, the act of flirting begins and doesn’t cease until the day you die. Flirting is how you meet women and engage them in conversation. Flirting is fun, and when done the right way, gives you confidence. As defined by Urban Dictionary, flirting has a very broad definition: “A person who is innocently overly friendly, especially the type of friendliness that is interpreted as seduction. Actions may include: giving away your number, blowing kisses, caressing, and free lap-dances.”

Don’t do the latter. Whether you’re looking to do some friendly, innocent flirting with no expectations or you genuinely want to show interest, here are some simple tips to flirt like a boss (a.k.a how to not completely blow it when speaking to a member of the opposite sex):

Be yourself

As with everything you do, you should always be true to yourself and who you are. It doesn’t matter what your intentions are when flirting — whether you’re being friendly to a pretty girl, looking to hookup, or are genuinely interested in looking for a relationship — remember to be yourself; it’s much harder to be someone else.

Don’t put any pressure on yourself or her

In other words, don’t expect anything to come out of your light-hearted flirting. Flirting is supposed to be fun and pressure free and if your daily conversations or one-time encounter go well, suggest getting together for coffee or a drink. This approach will relieve the pressure of going out for dinner.

Make eye contact

Beer Pub, couple, date

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And maintain it, no matter what type of atmosphere you’re in. Flirting is more effective if you’re looking at her and focusing on her.

Be aware of your surroundings

There are different types of flirting styles for different types of atmospheres. Being touchy, feely at work, especially if you’ve read the signals incorrectly, can be interpreted as sexual harassment: not good. If you’re at a bar, you’re apt to be louder and a little freer with your words, and if you read the signals incorrectly, at least you won’t be at risk for a lawsuit. Stay within the comfort of your surroundings.

Come up with a distracting activity

Making your flirting a little less obvious can be a good thing, with the odds being in your favor. Are you working on a project together at work? Not only is that an excuse to be in the same room with her, but she’ll feel more comfortable and find you appealing if the flirting is less obvious and direct.

Compliment her

couple, drinks, bar

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Don’t be crude or rude with your compliments — you want to compliment her, not offend her by being chauvinistic. Compliment her on her personality or intelligence, don’t reference any body parts –keep those to yourself until a later time when it’s appropriate.

Be funny but don’t try too hard

If being funny comes naturally to you, then use it to your advantage and make her laugh. Sharing a joke with her and subsequently making her laugh is the way to her heart. Sadly, if being funny doesn’t come naturally, don’t sweat it. Something laughable will come up while you’re “flirting.” Don’t push it by being inappropriate.

Add a slight touch

Touching her arm slightly — again, if it’s in the right atmosphere and you’re getting a big hint that she’s into it — is a fantastic way to connect and is a non-verbal way to show you’re interested. Non-verbal communication tends to be the most telling and powerful of all communication.

Show genuine interest

couple having fun, date

Source: iStock

Show her that you’re interested in what she has to say. Women love when men actually listen and respond to them. This is, by far, the best way to flirt.

Do not be overly aggressive

We get that you see something you like, but be patient and don’t be overly aggressive in your pursuit. Best to let things happen naturally, whatever your intention may be. This still means you can be proactive in your flirting. Accept the situation for what it is. If something develops, fantastic, but it’s important to let it happen organically.

No means no

This is self explanatory, gentlemen. If she says no, no matter what the situation is, it’s a no.

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