Although the statistics for marriage are not always positive, no one enters wedded bliss expecting it to fail. But unfortunately, things happen, and many couples wonder at some point if their marriage could be on the brink of divorce.
All relationships take work. And it could be time to consider couples counseling to help communication. But if you’ve already been down that road or you’re noticing some major red flags, your marriage could be in real trouble.
Here are a few signs your marriage is likely to end in divorce:
1. One of you has an addiction
One of the biggest challenges any couple can face is addiction. When alcohol, drugs, or gambling is involved — and when they begin to take precedence over the spouse — the marriage becomes strained. There’s bound to be some resentment, and there are usually secrets involved. Seek professional help, and take care of yourself in the process.
2. You’re avoiding your spouse
You may not even realize you’re doing this, but finding reasons to avoid your partner is a troubling sign. If you’re constantly prioritizing your friends over your marriage, or if you make excuses not to be home with your spouse, you could be in danger of divorce.
3. You have financial problems or secrets
Many studies have found a correlation between financial disagreements and divorce. If you’re hiding a lot of debt from your spouse, you’ve made some reckless decisions with your money, or if you’re constantly stressed over the state of your finances, it’s not a good sign.
4. Your sex life is dull or non-existent
Passion always ebbs and flows in a relationship, and the stress of daily life can take its toll behind closed doors. But according to one divorce lawyer, Randall Kessler, a lackluster sex life is an indication that divorce is near. Kessler sometimes sees divorcing couples who haven’t had sex in years.
5. You never argue
You would think that not arguing with your spouse would be a good thing. But according to Douglas Kepanis, a divorce attorney in New York City, staying silent to keep the peace just leads to built up resentment. If you try to avoid awkward situations with your spouse when you’re upset to keep the peace — or if you keep secrets so you don’t upset your partner — you could end up destroying your marriage.
6. You feel lonely
Your partner is supposed to be your friend and your confidant. So if you’re feeling lonely or isolated, it’s indicative of major marital woes. If you’ve been feeling lonely, or if you feel like your spouse is withdrawing from you, speak up.
7. One or both of you is refusing to try
Marriages have recovered from all kinds of issues, and there’s very little that can’t be fixed if both people in the marriage are willing to try. But if one of you has given up, the marriage is in serious trouble. Problems won’t go away on their own, and one person cannot make all of the effort.
What you can do
While realizing your marriage isn’t working is a horrible feeling, it doesn’t always mean that it’s over. If you’re both willing to work on things, hope is not lost. Spend some quality time together and reflect on why you fell in love in the first place. Talk to each other, listen to each other, and find small ways to connect again. And never be afraid to go to counseling together.