Having children is beautiful, exhausting, stressful, incredible, and downright hilarious. While your children will permanently change the way you see the world and change your relationship, the intangible rewards make it all worth it.
And sometimes people manage to sum up parenting in a single spot-on tweet. These are a few tweets about having children that are so accurate, they’ll make you laugh (or cry).
Kids are amazing at making messes
Before I had kids, I didn't even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 3, 2014
“Before I had kids, I didn’t even know it was possible to destroy an entire house with a granola bar,” tweeted @LurkAtHomeMom. Anyone who has ever witnessed a toddler with a cookie … or any food item, can relate.
This is a perfect post-Halloween tweet
Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night.
— Mickey (@Hypercraxy) September 24, 2015
We try not to raid our kids’ Halloween candy stashes, but we can’t help it. That’s why this tweet by @HyperCraxy is so hilarious.
We relax more with every child
1st kid: Document their every move
2nd kid: forget to pick them up 99% of the time
— EricaTriesToTweet (@EricaWhoToYou) June 10, 2016
Being a first-time parent is harrowing, but by the second child, most parents relax a bit more. @EricaWhoToYou nailed it with, “1st kid: Document their every move / 2nd kid: Forget to pick them up 99% of the time.”
Kids aren’t known for their healthy eating habits
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old's lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
— Brian Hope (@Brianhopecomedy) April 15, 2013
Our brains retain the strangest information
As the parent of a 5yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my coworkers.
— Northern Lights (@PinkCamoTO) April 28, 2015
Do you find yourself humming along to kids’ songs but forgetting essential information? “As the parent of a 5yo boy, I can name all the dinosaurs and none of my co-workers,” said @PinkCamato.
You will Google the weirdest things
My son just asked me if cats can have babies when they aren't married and I told him yes, but I honestly don't know.
— elizabeth williams (@Elizasoul80) March 1, 2016
Yes, your children will ask you why the sky is blue. They’ll also ask you other weird things. “My son asked me if cats can have babies when they aren’t married and I told him yes, but I honestly don’t know,” tweeted @Elizasoul80.
Toddlers get upset over odd things
My toddler woke up upset because he couldn't find his glasses, but what really set him off was when I told him he doesn't even wear glasses.
— Tired Working Mom (@WorkingMom86) July 31, 2015
This tweet from @WorkingMom86 will make parents of toddlers laugh out loud, “My toddler woke up upset because he couldn’t find his glasses, but what really set him off was when I told him he doesn’t even wear glasses.”
Older children are no better
Sign your kid up for the sport they BEG to play so you can listen to their incessant bitching about it as you drive them to practice.
— It'sReally10Months (@really10months) October 9, 2017
Sometimes children beg to do something only to change their minds. “Sign your kid up for the sport they BEG to play so you can listen to their incessant bitching about it as you drive them to practice,” tweeted @really10months.
Parenting is tough, but it’s worth it … if you have a Twitter account and a sense of humor.
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