The Worst Things You Can Do After a Breakup
Breaking up is hard to do, and moving on isn’t any easier. But it’s possible, and there’s certainly a right and wrong way to go about it. Regardless of who decided to end the relationship, there are some things you just shouldn’t do after a split. If you really want to move on, avoid these 10 mistakes after a breakup.
1. Blame yourself
Everyone blames themselves on some level after a breakup, according to The Huffington Post. But it can negatively affect self-esteem, which doesn’t put you in a good place mentally. Instead of placing blame or shaming yourself after a breakup, be kind to yourself and use it as a time to practice self-love. Learn to stand on your own and understand you don’t need to rely on someone else to make you happy. Blaming yourself will only make the recovery phase harder.
2. Stay in touch with your ex
We hate to break it to you, but staying in touch with your ex is not the way to get over him or her. In fact, The Huffington Post says it’s the one thing you shouldn’t do once a relationship ends. Getting your partner back (which you may be hoping for if they broke up with you) will actually leave you with a sense of false hope and keep you from moving on. Sure, there’s a possibility you two can be friends in the far future when you’re both entirely over each other — we’re talking you two are dating other people and have no ill feelings. But if a breakup is fresh, cut the connection entirely. It’ll make everything easier.
3. Look to your ex for casual sex
If you shouldn’t talk to your ex, then you certainly shouldn’t sleep with him or her. This is a huge no, especially if you’re looking for closure. You can bet that one last night won’t give you what you’re looking for. Instead, The Bolde says it’ll actually bring more heartache afterward. The temporary satisfaction isn’t worth the extra pain, so just don’t do it.
4. Neglect your health
You see this in every dramatic movie about love. One partner breaks up with the other. The dumpee wallows as they eat a pint or two of ice cream on the couch while watching a romantic film. You can let this be you at first, but you simply can’t let it become a pattern that keeps you from taking care of yourself. Though it might be a challenge, Health says focusing on your health can be really helpful when going through a breakup. It’ll help you find a sense of control, which is often lost after a relationship ends.
5. Drink away the pain
Whiskey, tequila, vodka — none of them are your friends, especially after a breakup. If you count on them to make you feel better, all you’ll be left with is a terrible hangover, and possibly a night full of tears. And once you sober up, Women’s Health says all that alcohol will just leave you feeling worse. Drinking away the pain is not the way to move on, so try keeping yourself busy with healthier habits.
6. Look to social media
Believe us when we say no one wants to read a rant about your breakup on Facebook. A breakup should be between you and your ex. Not you, your ex, and everyone you interact with on social media. Keep the details to yourself.
Also, if you have the urge to check up on your ex’s profile on a regular basis, resist. Keeping tabs is the total opposite of moving on. Health says it may even cause delayed emotional recovery. Besides, what good can come of looking at recent pictures and analyzing their updates? Rather than going on his or her profile to see what they’ve been up to, cut off contact. You’ll be better off in the long run.
7. Isolate yourself
Wanting some alone time is completely normal after a breakup, but it shouldn’t last forever. Even if you’re not ready, make the effort to go out and have a good time with people you care about after you’ve had some time to yourself. SheKnows says spending time with friends is crucial post-breakup. They’re the ones who will help you move on and bring normality back into your life. Plus, spending time with them will remind you of all of the wonderful people who care about you.
The article suggests going to new places, meeting new people, or even taking a trip somewhere you’ve never been. It’s important to have fun and to be happy again after a breakup. Isolating yourself from the world will make that impossible.
8. Jump into a new relationship right away
While you should definitely get back into the dating game at some point, you shouldn’t dive straight into a new relationship. Spending some time being single will help you process what went wrong and help you think about what you want your next relationship to look like. Reader’s Digest says taking some time for yourself can also help make sure your next relationship isn’t just something spontaneous and destined for another breakup. Date when you’re ready and find someone you actually care about, not just the next person you run into.
9. Surround yourself with mementos
The thought of your ex can be painful, so don’t surround yourself with items that remind you of them. While you don’t necessarily have to get rid of every little thing that reminds you of your ex, keeping these mementos out of sight is a good idea. Psychology Today says to think about whether or not these items are making it harder for you to move on. From there, decide what things are worth removing. You don’t want them to cause more emotional distress.
10. Seek revenge
Revenge may sound sweet if your partner dumped you, but it definitely won’t solve anything or make the breakup any easier. Plus, taking the high road is the mature thing to do. Instead of keying your partner’s car or flirting with their best friend, focus on bettering yourself. The Huffington Post says the best kind of revenge post-breakup should be all about you, not your ex. Focus on our health, volunteer somewhere, or take up a hobby to learn something new. Nothing is sweeter than being happier, healthier, and more successful than you were during your relationship.