Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman
From morning sickness to feeling their baby move for the first time, pregnancy introduces a roller coaster of emotions and new experiences into every woman’s rapidly changing life.
It’s hard enough to deal with the many changes they’re going through. But everyone always seems to have an opinion they feel the need to share — about them, their bodies, and the way they’re planning on raising their kid. There’s curiosity — and then there’s blurting out things that just don’t need to be said. Here are just a few of those unnecessary comments.
‘Was it planned?’
Everyone always wants to know whether or not someone’s pregnancy was planned … or not. If you have a close relationship with a friend, you might feel safe asking such a personal question. But you shouldn’t ask a stranger a question like this. Think back to how you felt — or consider how you might feel — if someone asked you if your pregnancy was intentional. If you wouldn’t want to answer, it’s unlikely another woman would.
‘You look [anything other than great]!’
You wouldn’t — and shouldn’t — comment on someone’s weight or size under any circumstances. The same unwritten rule should apply when approaching someone who is noticeably carrying a tiny human inside them. She really doesn’t need to hear how “big” she is — she already knows. Consider asking her how she’s feeling instead of mentioning how she looks.
‘Make sure you’re eating … ‘
Most women who are expecting have and continue to meet with a team of professionals to make sure they’re supporting a healthy pregnancy. Health.com does offer a list of foods not recommended while growing a new human, and healthy eating during pregnancy does matter. But it’s likely they’re not interested in hearing what you think they should — or shouldn’t — be eating. Leave that to the experts.
‘Are you sure you want to drink coffee right now?’
While Mayo Clinic does recommend limiting your daily caffeine intake to no more than 200 milligrams (about 2 cups of coffee), studies have yet to prove it’s dangerous to do so. Whether or not you drink caffeine during pregnancy is completely up to you — as long as you’re careful. Just because you didn’t, or wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so, doesn’t mean everyone else can’t.
‘Do you have a birth plan?’
She might. She might not. According to the American Pregnancy Association, formulating a birth plan helps a woman and her support system iron out all the details of childbirth. It’s completely up to every individual woman how she goes about this process. But it can also be overwhelming. She might not want to talk about it — or hear your opinions on the options she’s chosen. Let her bring it up, if she wants to.
‘Are you having more after this?’
This sounds like another personal question, don’t you think? Chances are, she doesn’t know the answer to that question. Did you, when you were in her situation? Would you, if you were? If she wants to offer up this information, and feels she knows you well enough to do so, she will. If you aren’t part of the family, you don’t need to know the private details.
‘Let me tell you all my pregnancy/labor horror stories … ‘
Looking back, these stories might seem interesting. To you, they’re in the past — no longer a possibility or a threat. Someone who’s about to go through this — especially if it’s their first pregnancy — might not find these stories as intriguing. You might mean well, but consider saving these stories for later.
Follow The Cheat Sheet on Facebook!