There are two schools of thought when it comes to fighting with your significant other. One: If you both are apt to argue, then maybe you both should reconsider the relationship. Two: If you both never argue or disagree over anything, then you’re perfect for each other. This way of thinking is incorrect, mostly because relationships aren’t this black and white. If you both tend to argue, it might not be that you are not compatible. It’s more likely that you don’t understand that you just need to learn to pick and choose your fights.
On the other end of the spectrum, you have the couple that never fights, disagrees, or argues. This isn’t always for the best either. There should be some resistance in a relationship as you get to know each other and grow; fighting is a natural and healthy way to figure out who you are together and how you work.
It’s when you’re repeatedly fighting over the same thing that your spats become a real problem. When you’re angry at your S.O., it’s hard not to fight a little dirty; however, you are an adult and there are certain things you just don’t ever say to your partner, nor should they say to you. Take control of yourself and don’t ever let these phrases leave your lips.
Here are five things you should never say to your partner, even if you’re seeing red.
1. Chill Out
Don’t ever tell your partner to “chill” or “chill out.” Not only is it infuriating, but you are completely discounting how your significant other feels. Telling someone to “chill out” is almost like putting someone down. You’re making them feel small and disregarding what they’re saying.
2. You’re disgusting
This phrase will hurt your partner more than you know. Let me be clear: It’s never OK to insult someone like this. Your S.O.’s actions may have disgusted you, or vice versa, and either or both of you may have done something terrible, but regardless of what happened, these words should never be used.
3. You’re just like your mother (or father)
Quite obviously if you’re in the middle of a fight, this is not a compliment. Saying this will make your partner even more furious. In other words, all it does is escalate the problem.
4. Anything that attacks his or her looks
You should never, ever attack someone’s looks, nor should you accept these insults if they are thrown at you. Turning the fight to your partner’s appearance is deflecting from the argument and the issue at hand. Plus, it’s terribly insulting.
5. I’m leaving
There is no need to threaten your S.O. with leaving every time you argue. If this issue is a relationship ending issue, then that’s a different story entirely. If this is something that is said casually, then you both need to re-evaluate whether this relationship is right or healthy.