We live in a complicated and strange dating era where it can take weeks or months to define a relationship. Social media and dating apps have only made the process more complex; this is a generation, according to a New York Times article, that doesn’t really date anymore, but instead “hangs out.” All of this makes navigating the singles scene very undefinable.
This new way of dating makes defining a relationship a difficult task. But there comes a time when you have to know what your status is. You may not get the answer you want to hear — but isn’t it better to know that sooner rather than later?
The best advice is to be straightforward and honest. “While some people make their intentions known and agree to becoming exclusive at a certain point, others go with the flow with the hope that they’ll become his or her one and only, even before becoming Facebook official,” says Julie Spira, an online dating expert and digital matchmaker and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com.
Knowing exactly what you want to get from the conversation will make the discussion a relative breeze, no matter the outcome. Not sure if it’s time to have “the talk?” Let these five signs guide you.
1. It just feels right
You’re going to reach a point when you know you like this person a lot and just can’t take it any longer — you want to make them yours. You will know when it feels right to broach the nerve-wracking exclusivity talk. You know it has to be done, and it’s time to buckle down and do it. The easiest way is to sit them down and just come out with it: “I want to be exclusive with you. How do you feel about that?” Those words will probably be met with relief and a resounding yes, but whatever the answer may be, it’s good you put it out there.
2. You don’t want to see anyone else
This is a huge sign that it’s time to define the relationship. You can’t imagine seeing anyone else because the person you’ve been dating is it. You may not love this person yet, but you can definitely see yourself being in love with him or her someday. Now is the time to have the exclusivity talk.
3. You are yourself around the other person
A great indicator that you’re in (or on the road to) a great relationship is that you can 100% be yourself around the person you’re seeing. If he or she has accepted you for who you are, it’s time to have the talk.
4. You don’t want to be intimate with anyone else
This is simple: You don’t want the person you’re seeing to be with anyone else because you really like him or her. It’s time to see if they feel the same way.
5. You can’t imagine your life without this person
You think about this person all the time, and when something good happens to you, you want to tell them first. Your special someone is the first person you think about in the morning and the last person you think about before you go to sleep. You need to have the talk — stat — so you can find out if they are feeling the same way.