The beginning of marriage is thrilling and fun. After all, you now have a spouse, which feels so much more significant than having a girlfriend or boyfriend. Like your relationship pre-marriage, your relationship as a married couple will have natural highs and lows. You may experience more nagging and less playfulness, more talks about getting the car fixed and fewer talks about vacation plans. Suddenly, your partner went from being a friend and lover to a co-pilot, and you struggle to keep marriage exciting.
Rediscover the person who made you laugh, challenged you, and drove you crazy with lust. How? Read these clever ways to keep marriage exciting.
1. Learn something new
There is nothing as intimidating and enlivening as learning something new. It can be daunting to put yourself in a situation where you don’t know what to expect. But this is exactly why you should do it. When you do something unknown and uncomfortable, you’ll rely on your partner. You’ll laugh at yourself and each other, and be partners in embarrassment. There is something wonderful about being vulnerable and open. Learning something new will get you there. Take an acro yoga class, join a kickball team, take knitting lessons, or learn to salsa dance.
2. Take interest
We all have interests that we don’t have in common with our significant others. Your spouse may take Pilates three times a week, while you have no idea what Pilates really is. It’s OK to have your own hobbies, but it’s also important that you take interest in each other’s passions. Join your partner for a Pilates class. Have him or her show you around the studio, meet their Pilates friends, and watch your spouse navigate a part of their life that you knew nothing about. Seeing your significant other thrive in a way you were unfamiliar with will leave you impressed and interested.
3. Notice your spouse
Chances are you see your partner every day but rarely really see him or her. You ask questions, plan the day’s logistics, and kiss goodbye before you head out the door, but did you truly look at your spouse? Take a moment to really notice the love of your life. When you think your spouse looks hot, let them know. Not only will you begin to see your spouse as the beautiful person you married but your sex life will skyrocket.
4. Plan time to relax
Taking care of the electric bill and organizing soccer practice will come naturally. Uninterrupted time together away from the to-do list won’t. Take time every day to be alone together, relax, and talk about your day (no business allowed). Put your phones away and keep the kids at bay. This is your time to rehash and relax together. Whether it’s first thing in the morning or right before bed, this should be a routine part of your day to preserve your connection and salvage your sanity.
5. Plan time for business
It is rare that two people are in the same mindset at the same time. You may be ready to discuss your plan to sell the house or your interest in going back to school, but your spouse may be coming off a stressful day and need time to relax before jumping into a life-changing discussion. If there’s a big topic you need to discuss, mention it briefly and set a time to discuss it. Big topics are always stressful and often lead to disagreements, so setting a time when you’re both prepared will help keep any disagreements or frustrations in check.
6. Prioritize each other
Your marriage should come first in every scenario. Put your spouse before your kids, your job, and your friends. This can be difficult, especially when it comes to your kids. But if you don’t maintain a good relationship with your spouse, your kids will grow up with a skewed sense of importance and a poor example of marriage and love.
7. Take time alone
Being together all the time doesn’t equal a happy marriage. Take time to pursue your own interests and spend time with friends separately. Not only will being apart provide you with some much-needed alone time, but you will be more excited to see each other after being apart. There is nothing as reinvigorating as stepping back and returning to the situation with a fresh perspective.