What Women Don’t Want: 5 Behaviors That Make Men Totally Unattractive
You may be in a great relationship right now, but if you don’t stay on top of your game, you could lose a good thing. It’s important to continue to develop yourself and find ways to bring valuable contributions to the relationship. Getting too comfortable means you could begin demonstrating some unsavory behavior or fall back into bad habits you worked hard to change. Here are some behaviors most potential mates will find wildly unattractive.
Do you regularly forget special holidays and important anniversaries? Are you often late for dates or constantly rescheduling? Being unreliable is inconsiderate. If you’re late for dates or forget important days like your partner’s birthday, this is a bad look. It shows that you don’t see her as a valuable part of your life. If you want to change that impression, you’ll need to get your priorities straight.
Clinical psychologist Seth Meyers says one of the classic red flags for unreliability is lateness. He advises his clients to cut off a new relationship if lateness starts to become a habit. “Lateness is a major sign of either disorganization or selfishness, and each of those traits makes for a highly unreliable person,” Meyers writes. He also adds:
I suggest that [my clients] tell their date what they need and give their date a chance to change their behavior. But if you’re just getting to know a date and he or she is late more than once, your date has failed to honor basic social conventions in such a fundamental way that I don’t believe it is worth your time to try to change the behavior.
2. Poor work ethic
Slacking off at work, lying to your boss, and leaving early should not be part of your daily routine. If you can’t seem to keep a job due to poor work ethic, you need to find your motivation and start making more of an effort. Pastor and author Kevin A. Thompson says a poor work ethic is a sign of laziness. This lack of motivation will bleed into your personal life and slowly but surely begin to kill your relationship. Thompson’s piece reads:
A healthy work-ethic is necessary for a well-balanced relationship. If a person is lazy, the marriage becomes unequal. One spouse does more work than the other. This easily results in bitterness and/or entitlement. It makes one spouse the parent and the other a child, but marriage is about partnership.
One mark of maturity is being able to place someone else’s needs above your own. If you are so absorbed by your own needs and wants that you can’t (or won’t) make room for someone else’s needs, you may not be ready for a serious relationship.
Psychiatrist Srini Pillay explains selfish lovers may be concealing feelings of inadequacy and a need for control:
Selfish lovers often suffer from feeling inadequate. Their feelings of inadequacy run so deep that they end up feeling very ashamed. To cover up this shame, they are internally “still” and this “stillness” drives the giver in the relationship to want to keep on giving as a form of resuscitation since the taker often feels dead.
4. Mixed signals
You’re either interested or you’re not. Showing passion and excitement one minute and then acting bored and not returning phone calls the next minute is not only confusing for her but also rude. Don’t play a childish game of hard-to-get. If you’re truly serious about your partner, remain consistent with how you demonstrate your feelings.
5. Not taking care of yourself
Just because you got the girl doesn’t mean you can relax. Take pride in your appearance by making an effort to look nice for your lady. A sloppy appearance communicates the message that you don’t care much about impressing her anymore. Consequently, your partner may feel she doesn’t mean as much to you. Don’t be surprised if she starts looking elsewhere.
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