Women Say These Are the Worst Things You Can Do on a First Date
Dating isn’t easy, and first dates can be downright nervewracking. If you’ve ever gone on a first date only to have the other party disappear forever when it’s over, you’re left wondering what you possibly could have done wrong.
Sometimes, it’s just a matter of lack of chemistry or common interests that makes a first date fizzle. But according to a survey from Match.com in which women were asked about the worst things you can do on a first date, there are indeed plenty of things you can do to scare someone off. If you relate to any of these, it may be time to rethink your approach.
Don’t sabotage it before it starts
This isn’t a survey result, but a words of caution: It may be tempting, but try to avoid Googling or “Facebook stalking” a woman before your first date with her. You might end up blurting out information you aren’t supposed to know and freaking her out.
Next: This was a major pet peeve of the women surveyed.
Don’t check your phone constantly
A whopping 90% of women surveyed on Match said frequently checking your phone is a major turnoff. So if you want to have a pleasant date, stay off social media and tell your friends you’ll text them later.
Next: A phone-free date seems like a reasonable request.
Your phone steals your focus
Women’s reasons for wanting their dates to stay away from the phone are understandable: Cell phones divide attention, they’re disruptive, and they can make it seem like you’re not interested in the present moment.
Next: Give yourself plenty of time to get there.
Don’t be too late
Sometimes things happen that are out of our control, but according to the Match.com survey, women don’t like it when their dates are more than 15 minutes late. Do your best to be punctual and let her know right away if you get stuck in traffic or something comes up.
Next: Chronic lateness is actually a sign of a deeper issue.
Why punctuality matters
When women say they want their date to arrive on time, they’re not being picky or demanding. Habitually late people are considered selfish and rude by the general public. Delving deeper into the psychology of lateness, those who are chronically late tend to be poor time managers or have other issues.
Next: Don’t overindulge.
Don’t have too much to drink
81% of women who took the Match.com survey said having more than two drinks was a turnoff. They prefer it when both parties stay clearheaded enough to remember the conversation.
Next: There’s a fine line between teetotaler and tipsy.
Drinking and dating
If you’re a social drinker, ordering a cocktail or two on a date may feel like second nature. But more than that might make the evening a little fuzzy or, worse, make your date think you have social anxiety or a drinking problem. There are Dos and Don’ts when it comes to first date drinking, so proceed with caution.
Next: You’re not a mind reader.
Don’t order her food for her
You might think you’re being charming or polite, but results of the Match.com survey indicate ordering a woman’s meal for her is a major no-no. Aside from being a little sexist, you don’t know her well enough on your first date to make that kind of assumption.
Next: You should really never do this even if you’re not on a date.
Don’t be rude to the wait staff
Understandably, women are not impressed when their dates are rude to the wait staff at a restaurant or bar. It’s embarrassing, for one, and it can also make them wonder how you treat others in your life … or how you’d treat them if you were in a relationship.
Next: These are some other things you should avoid on a first date (or forever).
More first date pet peeves
If you were punctual, stuck to soda to drink, tipped 20%, and your date still blew you off after one evening, you could have been guilty of some other common first date pet peeves. Many women won’t go for a second date if you are wishy washy about making plans, you’re inappropriately intimate too quickly, or you hit her up for nudes (or offer your own) right away. This may seem like common sense, but to many people, it isn’t.
Next: Good news, you’ve probably never done anything this horrible.
First date horror stories
We’ve all had mediocre or bad dates, but occasionally, they turn into outright nightmares. You may have experienced one yourself, but if you haven’t, know that these are actual things that have happened:
- Lydia’s date talked like a baby, put chopsticks in his mouth, and imitated a mammoth.
- Lindsey’s first date brought his father along.
- Monica’s date picked her up in an old Bobtail loaded with cattle, which were pooping down the side of the truck onto her parents’ sidewalk.
- Miranda’s date confessed his cocaine addiction.
- Loretta’s date read her texts from the woman he was in the process of divorcing.
- Valerie’s date informed her he didn’t view domestic violence as a crime since it was necessary to “keep women in their place.”
Clearly, this goes way past a simple faux pas like being late or spending too much time on your phone. Don’t be these people (unless you truly never want to see your date again).
Next: So, what should you do?
First Date Dos
The Match.com survey also asked women what they do want on a date. And while some of the results are just common sense (being on time, for example), there are a few things you might want to know.
Next: Always tell her she looks great.
Compliment her on her appearance
Unless your first date involves a day hike up a mountain, your date probably spent a lot of time getting ready for your time together. A little sincere compliment goes a long way.
Next: Don’t forget your wallet.
To pay or not to pay?
According to the Match.com survey, 91% of women polled think you should insist on paying for the first date. While most women will at least offer to split the bill with you, the majority of them hope you’ll pick up the tab, even in these modern times. But don’t worry — if things go well and you see each other again, they won’t expect you to pay every time.
Next: Here are some great ice breakers.
The art of conversation
First dates are all about getting to know each other — but if you’re not great at small talk, you’re not alone. Keep your date interested by asking conversation-stimulating questions you’re genuinely curious about, like what her hobbies are, how she chose her current career, and what kind of things are on her bucket list. Her answers will likely spark other conversations, and the evening will fly by.
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