15 of the Strangest Items You Can Buy Online
Written by Erika Rawes and Kirsten Klahn
Almost everyone shops online — at least on occasion. Data published by Statista indicates there are over 190 million digital shoppers in the U.S., and because so many people are buying, a whole bunch of online retailers are selling. These retailers are both large and small, some quality and some shoddy. You can find some really great deals online for household goods, clothing, and other products you would otherwise buy at a brick-and-mortar retailer.
But sometimes, products sold online make you do a double take. “Did I really just see a book about teaching babies how to use HTML coding?” you may ask yourself as you scan through some of these ‘unique’ items. Here are a few items that may produce that same “huh?” reaction.
You might be better off hanging on to that $9.
2. Anti Wrinkle Half Face Slimming Cheek Mask Lift — $10.56
A somewhat Hannibal Lecter-looking mask, this product claims to tighten your skin and minimize lines and wrinkles while you’re wearing it. For around $10.50, you can bypass spending tons of money on wrinkle creams, face lifts, and exfoliators. Sound too good to be true? That’s because it is. In fact, one reviewer worried that the uncomfortable, plastic-smelling mask was causing additional wrinkles.
3. Honk If You Love Bad Grammar — $10.95 plus $4.94 shipping and handling
Lots of people love “dirt bike,” and this gem of a license plate will proudly display your affection — for a price of just under $16, that is. Is dirt bike a person? The license plate reads as if you’re displaying affection for your spouse or significant other. “I love Jenny” (aka dirt bike).
All joking aside, when you pay for a product, you generally expect it to do what it is supposed to — in this case, convey your love for dirt bikes.
4. Duct Tape Neck Tie — $18.44 plus S&H
This is a novelty gift item sold on Amazon. Apparently, you’re supposed to wrap it up in a box and give it to someone as a gag gift, which would be fine, except for — as several reviewers point out — you could simply buy a roll of duct tape and make one yourself for less than one-third of the price.
5. ’80s iPhone Case — $5.42 plus 57 cents shipping and handling
The logic of this iPhone case is a bit backwards. So, you want to look more like Zack Morris? If so, this product is great for you. But, if your goal is to have a blast in the past, why buy an iPhone for a few hundred dollars in the first place? Why not just buy a cheaper, larger phone?
6. Jimmy, My Spiritual Friend — $160,000
“The only and the best spiritual friend of mine.” Apparently, this pendulum contains a spirit friend who will guide you, all for the low, low price of $160,000 plus $4.99 shipping and handling. There are no actual pictures or videos of the pendulum, only a picture of a ghost-like figure and the product description.
The seller just launched and he or she goes by the name “Integrity & Safe.” Jimmy appears to be the only product available from this seller.
7. Mug Muscles — $15.54
As of the time of this publication, only 3 of these mugs have been sold on eBay. This novelty item is a beer mug that’s also designed to improve your muscle strength. However, unless you’re searching for a gag gift that will certainly never be used, you may want to reconsider a drinking mug that also acts as a gym.
8. Canned Unicorn Meat — $10.97 plus $2.99 shipping and handling
As of this writing, 30 of these cans of “unicorn meat” have been sold on eBay. Sure, it may be kind of silly to have this can on your shelf, but that’s all it’s really going to do — sit there. If you give it to someone as a gag gift, it’ll sit on their shelf. Are you really going to eat what’s inside this can?
9. HearthSong BBOPTM Ball — $39.98 plus $9.99 shipping and handling
Your children can bounce, bop, and bump with the buddy bounce ball. There’s just one catch. Two people need to have a ball in order to properly use it, yet it only comes with one per package. User reviews also stated that the “durable balls” popped and ripped after being used for a short time. If you’re interested in purchasing this product, be prepared to spend $80 for two of the easily deflated bumper buddies.
If you have been dreaming of the day when you could finally wear your phone on your finger, that day has arrived. But for the many people out there who don’t understand why you’d want to wear your phone as a finger accessory, you’ll understand why this ring stand holder made the list. Rather than waste your money, follow this Amazon reviewer’s suggestion: “Don’t waste your $5 on this; buy a beer instead.”
11. Thumbs Up! 100 Dollar Bill Toilet Roll — $6.83
Do you dream of being rich enough to flush money down the toilet? In that case, this $100 bill toilet paper might be just what you’re looking for. As a gag gift, this product may qualify as humorous. But practical or usable? Definitely not. Once purchased, this is a novelty item that will either make its way to the trash or get stored at the bottom of your junk drawer.
12. Obama Toilet Paper — $6.77
As of the time of this publication, over 900 of these Obama toilet paper rolls have been sold on eBay. We all know what toilet paper is used for and it seems rather strange to have a picture of anyone, let alone the President, on your roll of TP. Plus, you can buy a 4-pack of toilet paper for $1. Therefore, the cost of a roll is around 25 cents. This roll costs more than 27 times that price, all because it has the president’s face printed on it.
13. Mobile Workstation — $26.06 plus $4.44 shipping and handling
Doesn’t this seem a little dangerous? Sure, it may be designed to be used while your car is sitting still. But with cell phone use already causing 26% of the nation’s car accidents, the likelihood that people who purchase this will roll around in their cars with laptops strapped to their steering wheels is pretty high.
14. Knife and Fork Lift — $39.95 plus $10.85 shipping and handling
The knife and fork lift, which weighs 1.5 pounds each, are supposed to turn meals into exercise. The website claims the utensils remind the user that “eating puts weight on and requires exercise to take if off.” Additionally, that “lifting with these utensils is like doing curls with dumbbells,” which may be accurate if you’re only lifting 1.5 pound weights. If you’re looking for a less expensive reminder that it’s time to get to the gym, you could also just write yourself a note.
The reason this product could be deemed a bit on the inappropriate side is self-explanatory. But in addition to that, some reviewers say the product is “cheap” and another reviewer said after using the pacifier, her son ended up with gold sparkles all over his mouth. Some reviewers did have positive things to say about this product, however, and overall it has 3.3 out of 5 stars on Amazon.