What We Think It Would Be Like to Interview For a Job at the Trump White House
It’s no secret that there are plenty of job openings at Trump’s White House. Nobody can seem to stay there longer than a year. The few that can show a particular type of vigor or resilience that one might find akin to a sociopath. If you want a job at the Trump White House, now is the time to act. This begs the question: What would an interview be like at Trump’s White House?
We have compiled a series of questions that may come up during an interview when trying to get a job at the Trump White House. We have also come up with the best ways to answer those questions. If you want to get a job at the White House, follow this advice closely.
Question: Tell me about yourself?
Standard answer: This is a question that they most often start off with. It gives the employer the opportunity to get to know you a bit better. It also lets them see how you will fit into their company culture and the position you’re applying for. Always ask the employer what they want to know, so that you can dial your answer in a bit better. Try not to focus too much on your personal information. Focus on what life skills you have that would fit this job and always be humble about your accomplishments.
Trump-approved answer: When you are interviewing with Trump, the only thing he responds well to is bombast and flattery. There is absolutely no need to project any type of humility. Talk about how great your accomplishments are, even if they were a failure. Always tell Mr. Trump about how great he is. He loves those things.
Next: If you’re currently employed, you may want to heed this advice.
Question: Why are you leaving your current job?
Standard answer: Most employers ask this question because it tells a lot about a person and how they will behave at their company. Try to stay away from disparaging your current job, or having a list of grievances ready for the interviewer; no matter if they are founded or not. Employers want someone who is actually interested in the position and not someone who is fleeing their situation. This is a great opportunity to talk about your desires for growth and wanting more challenges and responsibilities.
Trump-approved answer: In the Trump administration, you may want to do just the opposite. Trump loves to disparage other companies, and he loves to talk trash about other people. This could be a great opportunity to bond with the President and make a lasting impression.
Next: It’s a cliche question, but it is important.
Question: Where do you see yourself in five years?
Standard answer: This is a challenging question for most people because the obvious answer is that you want to be sitting on a beach, drinking a Mai Tai, without a concern about your financial independence. Everyone needs to adjust their answers to the needs of the company. Make sure you have some lofty aspirations and real goals that involve the best interests of the company’s future.
Trump-approved answer: For Trump, go with the former. Tell him that you want to be on a beach, drinking a Maitai, without having to worry about your financial future. You could even throw in a remark about being on a golf course. That is where he has spent more time than any other president before him combined.
Next: This is the best way to respond to social media questions.
Question: Do you see Twitter as an effective means of communicating?
Standard answer: Social media is dangerous territory for some companies. For other companies, it can be a very effective way of promoting their corporate culture. If you’re headed into an interview with a company, it’s best to research their use of social media, as well as their policies for employees. Sometimes, companies will have rules on how you engage with the public, even as a private citizen.
Trump-approved answer: For the Trump White House, embrace social media and call any other forms of reaching the public “fake” and that they only spread lies. If possible, you may want to have your entire interview with Trump on Twitter.
Next: Data-driven assessments are important. But, are they important in the Trump administration.
Question: How much do you value evidence-based policy making?
Standard answer: A lot of companies want employees to make data-driven decisions. This means that they want you to rely on the evidence that is presented to them and make an educated resolution based on the available information. This will increase the effectiveness of the policies they make at the company and it will increase their bottom line.
Trump-approved answer: In the Trump White House, they rely more on emotional or experience-based decision making. So if you are presented with the option of doing something based on the evidence, ignore that stuff and go with what you feel is best. Even if that decision is extremely dangerous or has zero impact.
Next: Workplace conflicts can be difficult to manage. Make sure you know how to deal with them.
Question: What do you do if you have issues with a co-worker?
Standard answer: This is where you want to show off your skills as a workplace politician and show that you are able to solve problems. In turn, you create a beneficial environment for all. That is a valuable skill for many corporations because it reduces employee attrition.
Trump-approved answer: But for Trump, you want to let him know that you will berate your co-worker until they quit. Attrition isn’t a concern of the Trump administration. They are looking for a real tough person who isn’t afraid of getting dirty, no matter how unethical they may be.
Next: The way you speak is really important.
Question: How do you feel about ‘locker room talk’?
Standard answer: Employers really value the ability to communicate effectively. Profanity, vulgarity, slang, and crude language may be generally acceptable in personal social situations, but they have no place in the work environment. If you are confronted with this question anywhere else in the world, just say you don’t tolerate it.
Trump-approved answer: In the Trump administration, it is always best to pepper all of those language styles in. You could even add a dash of racism or sexism. Pay no regard to what constitutes sexual harassment since the Trump family just pays those off and sweeps them under the rug.
Next: This is the hardest question any employer can ask.
Question: Why should we hire you?
Standard answer: The key here is to put all of your focus on how you will help the company your applying for. Let them know how you fit all the criteria that they have listed in the job description. Then let them know a couple more things that would be valuable skills you have that compliment the job. You want to let the employer know that you will be valuable now, and in the future.
Trump-approved answer: There is actually no difference here for the Trump administration. The only thing that would compliment this question is to express some form of extreme loyalty. Trump demands loyalty, even if he isn’t loyal to you.
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