6 Internet Miracles That Make Politics 10% Less Depressing
As Sen. Mitch McConnell reminds us in his recent campaign ad, “these are serious times.” However, watching the news and keeping up with events on Capitol Hill can at times be almost overwhelmingly grim at times. Political campaigns can be dirty and aggressive, and leave something of a gritty film over the psyche, and with Ebola dominating the news and ISIL drawing grave concern, it might be time for a look at the lighter side to politics.
The advantage to living in the age of the Internet is that there are millions of sources of alternative news and political reading. People become fascinated with all sorts of bizarre and fantastically specific things and document them online for the whole world to see, an entire web-library of strange analysis that would never have been possible only a handful of decades ago. Let’s take a look at some of the bizarre, entertaining, and fantastic collections of political trivia, data, and satire the Internet has for us.
1. Texts From Hillary
While a little bit old at this point, this tumblr remains a keeper. What more could you ask for than a series of images of the 2016 potential presidential candidate texting a variety of people, from celebrities to CEOs and other politicians. “Any advice?” asks Mitt Romney? “Drink,” suggests the Hillary tumblr.
This is the site to follow if you found yourself curious as to what Hillary Clinton’s text messages might look like after President Barack Obama’s correspondents dinner joke in 2012. Said Obama: “Despite many obstacles, much has changed during my time in office. Four years ago I was locked in a brutal primary battle with Hillary Clinton. Four years later she won’t stop drunk texting me from Cartagena.” These may not be her actual texts, but we can imagine can’t we?
For those who prefer a little vintage political humor, there’s Cosmarxpolitan, a website filled with Soviet-era and Marxist political humor/satire in the form of fake Cosmopolitan magazine covers with tag lines like “De-stalinize your bedroom; fresher, sexier, and 30 percent fewer gulags in 5 easy steps.”
One particularly witty cover entitled “Special report from KGB HQ: everything is great!” simply redacts the rest of the cover’s content in black lines. The tumblr doesn’t have much content, only two pages, making it a quick but enjoyable read.
3. Mean Girls of Capitol Hill
“You can’t sit with us, Ted Cruz,” jokes this Tumblr which combines serious and bitter political rivalry and issues with everyone’s favorite catty, obnoxious, and — wait, why do people like that movie again? — teenager-filled film starring Lindsay Lohan.
Ultimately, it often feels like watching politicians fight over congressional seats is comparable in a very legitimate, honest way, to watching hormonal, sociopathic, and emotionally volatile teenagers face off in a verbal death match on high school grounds, and Mean Girls of Capitol Hill just brings that to life.
4. Notorious R.B.G
Love Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Want to see her photoshopped with dope headphones, or read quotes from her rulings under ironic headlines? Good, because Notorious R.B.G. does all of that, plus it’s actually managed to get on the Supreme Court Justice’s radar.
In an interview with Wonkette — “Now Is The Time For All Good Americans To Nerdcrush On Ruth Bader Ginsburg” — she discusses the blog and its humorous and flattering interest in her, though she admits she needed to have the rap reference explained.
5. White House fence jumpers
Given the recent resignation of Secret Service Director Julia Pierson after a man made it over the fence and into the White House itself, it might be interesting to reflect back on the many years of abuse the fence has taken. It’s had everything from hilariously baffling, but harmless, jumpers, to more sinister ones, but overall the blog remains fairly lighthearted as a majority of the border breaches are caught and found to be fairly harmless.
It also includes random trivia about rumors, like this one: “Some people believe that John Kerry’s medals jumped the White House Fence in 1971, but that’s not true: it was a wood and wire fence around the Capitol over which Kerry threw his combat ribbons as a symbol of protest. Number of medals/ribbons thrown: unknown. Number of White House Fence Jumpers Staff who care: zero. Duh.”
6. Joe Biden eats ice cream
This last is perhaps my favorite. What could be better than an all you can eat photo tumblr filled to the brim with nothing but photos of Vice President Joe Biden eating ice cream. No other purpose. Just photos of ice cream being licked, gulped, bitten, and spooned out of cones and bowls.
The pictures are from all over the United States, in all sorts of restaurants and eateries, from Dairy Queen to the grocery store. The flavor options are as numerous as stars in the sky.
Finally, an honorable mention deserves to go to the many YouTube users and channels who’ve taken the time to collect news bloopers. The news may be bad news all day long, but bloopers can make you forget pretty much anything an anchor has said, even doom and gloom.
More from Politics Cheat Sheet:
- Whole Foods and Elections: Proof That Political Data Can Be Absurd
- Obama’s Fence Jumper Put Into Perspective
- In Honor of His Birthday: 10 Strangest Gifts Ever Given to Obama
Follow Anthea Mitchell on Twitter @AntheaWSCS