’90 Day Fiancé’: Couples Therapist Reacts to ‘Entitled’ Angela ‘I’m an American’ Fight with Michael

A licensed therapist breaks down the “I’m an American” fight between Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi on 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?. The YouTube couples therapist calls out Angela for being “entitled” and using her status as an American as leverage against Michael.

Angela Deem yelling at her computer on 90 Day Fiancé
Angela Deem, ’90 Day Fiancé’ | TLC

Therapist reacts to “I’m an American” fight between Michael and Angela

Licensed therapist and professor Dr. Kirk Honda, known as Psychology In Seattle on YouTube, does videos where he breaks down the psychology behind some of the most iconic reality TV scenes. In his latest episode, Dr. Honda explains what’s going on during the July 9th episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, where Angela freaks out (yet again) on Michael.

Dr. Honda explains that Angela has a very aggressive front because she was likely taught that “to communicate you’re hurt, just means you’re going to get hurt even more.” During the fight with Michael, Angela exclaims, “I’ll say whatever the f— I want to say. I’m an American!” The therapist breaks it down, saying that just because Angela is hurt “doesn’t justify the bullying and the hostility” over the phone.

Dr. Honda explains that Angela’s freaking out over Michael telling her that she’s talking too much is possibly due to Angela’s “schemas and her relational trauma, she might actually hear that as extremely hostile and critical.” Dr. Honda says that Angela saying “I’m an American” to Michael is her telling Michael that she has special privileges and can say whatever she wants.

Therpist calls out Angela for being ‘entitled’

Dr. Honda explains that the signs of abusive behavior are immediate with Angela. At the beginning of the clip, Angela blames her inability to quit smoking on Michael and his behavior instead of taking responsibility for her actions. The therapist speaks about Angela’s behavior, saying, “She seems to have that mindset of entitlement.”Dr. Honda explains, “I think underneath it all, she has extremely low self-esteem, and that’s why she does all of the demonstrative, narcissistic, entitled, aggressive, dominant, bullying behavior that she exhibits.”

The therapist explains that deep down, Angela feels extremely “inferior” and is overcompensating with her aggression and yelling. Angela telling Michael, “I’m an American,” says that she believes that she somehow possesses a special treatment because she’s an American. It’s interesting to see how Dr. Honda explains that what she wants is complete power and dominance over Michael. Also, Angela using the “I’m an American” card can be leverage against Michael to gain that power.

Is there hope for Angela and Michael’s relationship?

On 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?, Angela revealed that she and Michael had broken up after a big fight and that they are “done.” She even went as far as seeing her lawyer, Lew, to find out what it would take to divorce Micheal. TLC fans know that the Georgia native has threatened to divorce Michael before, but this is her first time seeing her lawyer seeking divorce advice.


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Dr. Honda thinks that if there is any hope for Angela and Michael, there would have to be major changes in the relationship’s dynamic. Angela would have to stop shutting down Michael every time he had something to say and actually calmly communicate their needs.

It seems that no amount of apologies from Michael will make Angela happy. Fans will have to continue watching 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After to see if Angela and Michael will be able to pull themselves out of conflict.