’90 Day Fiancé’: Michael Ilesanmi Feels Like He Has to ‘Choose’ Between Angela Deem and His Family

On 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After, Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi get into another argument, but this time it starts in front of Michael’s Aunt Lydia. After going to premarital counseling that’s required in order for them to register to marry in Nigeria, Angela gets some news that she’s surprised to here and not too happy about. When it’s mentioned that the woman is supposed to be “submissive,” it’s clearly something Angela won’t be abiding by.

When Angela and Michael meet up with his Aunt Lydia, it gets brought up, and it starts a fight between them that makes Michael feel like he has to “choose” between Angela and his family.

Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi get into it in front of Michael’s Aunt Lydia

Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi
Angela Deem and Michael Ilesanmi | deemangela via Instagram

Angela and Michael meet up with Aunt Lydia, and at first, things are good. However, Lydia mentions the premarital counseling, and Angela gets real about what she learned. “Some of the things they said was like, ‘what?’ They want me to be submissive to the man, which I get that, but in America, we do the same jobs as men, so we’re considered equal,” Angela says.

Lydia explains it isn’t like that in Nigeria, and Angela says thankfully they’re going to live in America together. Next, Michael mentions that his culture will still be part of their lives, and that’s when things get tense.

“It seems to me…in front of Aunt Lydia, you’re not who you tell me you are,” Angela tells Michael. “In front of Aunt Lydia, you’re shooting her a bunch of bull.” Michael says he isn’t doing that, and Angela replies, “OK then you’re shooting me a bunch of bull.”

Michael mentions the word submissive, and Angela explains that she won’t be submissive. “At the beginning of this relationship, I told him how I am. I told him the truth,” Angela tells producers. “So I get frustrated because I really don’t know if Michael’s lying to me about being submissive, or lying to his family that I will be.”

‘She’s bossy, can’t you see that?’

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Angela eventually gets up and goes to the bathroom after saying that maybe Michael needs to find a Nigerian woman. She also tells him not to raise his voice at her in front of Lydia. While she’s gone, Lydia and Michael talk about things.

“What is happening?” Lydia asks Michael. “Will you allow a woman to control your life? Is it because you want to marry a white woman, then you now bring down your honor?”

Michael tries to explain that Angela means to say that things will be equal between them. “She wants to be the boss. She’s bossy, can’t you see that?” Lydia questions back to him.

Angela returns to say she isn’t going to change. She says Michael is trying to make everyone happy. He then tell her that things are going to be 50/50.

Lydia seems to have heard enough. “But now, with the things I’m seeing now Angela, I’m very sorry, I like you. But with this kind of attitude, I don’t know about your marriage,” she tells Angela.

Angela then gets up and walks away from the table. Michael stays to talk with Lydia, who doesn’t seem very happy about things. She also says Angela isn’t submissive, and that Angela is “treating him like a child.”

Michael feels like he has to ‘choose’ between Angela and his family

“Don’t allow this woman to rule you. Stand on your feet,” Lydia tells her nephew. Michael tells her he can handle Angela, and he heads back to the house to deal with the problems. In the car, he tells producers that he feels like he has to “choose” between Angela and his family.

“I feel right now as if I choose Angela or my family,” Michael says. “I never expected this kind of conversation. I mean, kind of issues at the moment. But I’m getting married soon, and I want both sides to be happy.”

Michael has a lot of expectations coming from both Angela and his family, and he’s desperate to please both sides. He has his family, which expects things to be one way, and Angela, who is expecting the situation to be completely different. It’s making Michael feel like he has to choose between two sides.

Although it’s expected from Michael’s family that his wife should be submissive to him, Angela has made it clear that it won’t be happening. It’s putting Michael in a tough predicament. Hopefully, he can figure out a way to come out on the other side of things unscathed.