’90 Day Fiancé’: Stephanie Matto Opens Up About Troubles With Intimacy

90 Day Fiancé star Stephanie Matto has been fielding some difficult comments from fans of the show following her appearance on the latest season of Before the 90 Days. Some fans have pointed out that Matto posts sexual content online, but she seemed uncomfortable with intimacy around Erika Owens. Some fans of the show suggested this was the result of her faking her sexuality in some way — something Matto has also addressed. 

Stephanie Matto addresses her sexuality 

Some 90 Day Fiancé fans have expressed doubts over the veracity of Stephanie Matto’s sexuality as a storyline on the show. Matto runs a YouTube channel on which she previously uploaded a video discussing a romantic interest she had in another woman previously. 

Some fans took this as evidence that Matto and TLC were frauding in their storyline. Matto took to her Instagram to shut down those rumors.

Matto wrote, “My final time addressing this. First of all: this is NOT a coming out video. Nowhere in this video did I come out. This was a video about an experience I had with a girl I thought I was in love with.”

She went on to add, “My mom never watched my channel 3 years ago when I made this. I’ve made videos about anal sex, dildos, and all sorts of things she has NO interest in. This video was also buried in over 3 years worth of videos (about 800 in total). I recently made it my main page video because obviously the cat is out of the bag now and I figured I would share it now for all the naysayers who would try to say, ‘she’s just bi for the show.’”

Stephanie Matto dishes on troubles with intimacy

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I am a monster. I am a cold bitch. Or so people say. And I can see why people would think that. “You never fuck me”, “you never touch me”, “you’re a cold bitch” are all lovely phrases exes from years past have used to describe me. But what some of these people came to know eventually is that even though it took me a long time to let my walls down, I was the most loyal and loving when given a chance. Unfortunately you will never fully know my past, you will never fully understand what it was like to go through everything that I went through and have your youth and self esteem ripped away from you. How scary and sad it is to want to love someone but be too afraid that maybe you are too damaged, too fucked up, too much for them to handle. Back in August I texted my girlfriend telling her about my celibacy and told her that the last time anyone touched me I freaked out. In my previous relationship there was barely any intimacy and the best way to describe it was “roommates” instead of partners. This ex witnessed my relapse, my inability to clot, my constant emotional and physical fatigue from medication. It took time for them to realize that my fear and awkwardness was not any indicator of the depth of my love. Dating a sick person isn’t easy. I actually feel bad for anyone who’s had to date me in the past and attempted to solve this rubix cube of a brain. I haven’t hid any of my past and what I’ve been through. It’s all on my channel. Hospital visits, me at my weakest, it’s all there and documented. However, most would just simply be fine with taking me for face value and saying I am fake without even taking the time to understand me as a person. And that’s fine, I get that people have better shit to do. But for all the women and men out there who have gone through illness and trauma and now feel like a prisoner in their own body, I feel for you. I made a video last summer talking about my celibacy and why it was important to me. I dont care if people like me, I just want people to try to understand me. Unfortunately that’ll likely never happen but still I write this. You can take it or leave it.

A post shared by Stepanka/Stephanie (@stepankamatto) on

Now, Stephanie Matto is facing comments from fans about her seeming lack of interest in intimacy on the show. Some feel as if she’s behaving differently in real life than the person she advertised to Erika Owens. 

Matto took to Instagram to push back on this idea. In a lengthy post she wrote, in part, “I am a monster. I am a cold b*tch. Or so people say. And I can see why people would think that. ‘You never f*ck me’, ‘you never touch me’, ‘you’re a cold b*tch’ are all lovely phrases exes from years past have used to describe me. But what some of these people came to know eventually is that even though it took me a long time to let my walls down, I was the most loyal and loving when given a chance.”

The 90 Day Fiancé star continued, “Back in August I texted my girlfriend telling her about my celibacy and told her that the last time anyone touched me I freaked out. In my previous relationship there was barely any intimacy and the best way to describe it was ‘roommates’ instead of partners. This ex witnessed my relapse, my inability to clot, my constant emotional and physical fatigue from medication. It took time for them to realize that my fear and awkwardness was not any indicator of the depth of my love.” 

’90 Day Fiancé’ fans react

Stephanie Matto of  90 Day Fiancé dated Erika Owens
Stephanie Matto of 90 Day Fiancé | stepankamatto via Instagram

Stephanie Matto received a variety of responses to her post. Some commenters replied with sympathy, and others continued to dig into Matto for what they felt was misrepresentation when she chatted to Erika Owens online. 

One commenter wrote, “It’s fine to be, or feel that way, but you portray a completely different persona , maybe that’s why you get sh*t from people.”

Another Instagram user commented in part, “Steph, thanks for keeping us all entertained on Sunday nights, but really wish it didn’t come with the harsh side effects for you. Not fair. Thanks for taking the platform you have and doing good- not sure I see much of that from your tv show peers- and that makes you stand out. You’re a good egg.”

“It’s extremely difficult for people who don’t suffer from chronic illness to understand. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome. And while technically they are physical ailments, the mental and emotional strain can be absolutely astounding. Much love and prayers to you and Erika,” added another user.