A recent episode of 90 Day Fiance: Before the 90 Days has brought a long-running tension between Usman Umar and Lisa “Babygirl” Hamme to head. The pair have been plagued with drama, cheating accusations, and other struggles as they’ve tried to make their relationship work. In this battle, Hamme confronts Umar about letters to other women, and the new information seems to fit with a larger pattern of cheating and unfaithful behavior. The pair have already worked through a lot of dramatic twists and turns. Will this one be the end, or will they once again manage to patch things up?
Usman Umar insists his career requires contact with women
Part of the tension between Umar and Hamme is Umar’s career as a Nigerian entertainer. When Hamme met Umar online, she was skeptical of whether their relationship could go anywhere: Umar is more than twenty years younger than Hamme, and his professional focus has been on building his entertainment career in his home country of Nigeria.
When Hamme found text messages on Umar’s phone to other women, he insisted that she wasn’t understanding the cultural differences and the requirements of his career. Umar, who performs under the name SojaBoy, says that fans expect him to interact with them as part of his persona.
He believes that Hamme is controlling and jealous and that she needs to “be patient” with the way that his career impacts their relationship. That said, many fans think his digital habits qualify as emotional cheating.
Babygirl Lisa Hamme is unhappy with the texts
These do not appear to be casual text messages between fans and an entertainer, however. Hamme found at least one text that said “I love you,” and she’s frustrated with Umar’s explanation. “That would be like you opening up my phone and you see that I’m telling some dude that I love him. Not cool,” Hamme explained to Umar as she confronted him with the evidence that he was being unfaithful.
Meanwhile, their relationship has already been put to the test by other signs of infidelity, and they haven’t all come from Umar. Hamme was spotted with another man, and fans were curious to see how this reality would play out for the jealous couple. It seems that Hamme, who is married to Umar and living with him in Nigeria, has an American fiance who doesn’t know — or at least did not know while the show was filming — anything about her participation on 90 Day Fiance.
Some fans find it more than a little hypocritical for Hamme to get upset with Umar over text messages when she has an entirely separate relationship herself.
Babygirl Lisa Hamme and Usman Umar are trying to make it work
Melissa Schacter, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Women’s Health Magazine that emotional cheating takes weeks or months to form and it’s far more convoluted than a one-time physical affair. Plus, emotional cheating can’t place the blame on extraneous factors like alcohol. In Umar’s case, it appears he’s placing the blame on his career.
Despite a plethora of complications in their marriage, it does seem — at least at the end of the latest episode — like Hamme and Umar are still trying to make things work. By the end of the episode, Hamme is explaining her perspective to the cameras: “Despite all the bulls**t drama between Usman and I, I do love Usman more than life and I believe him when he says this woman is nothing to him.”
It’s likely that this particular issue will continue to be a source of tension for the pair. After all, many viewers still believe that Umar’s entire relationship with Hamme and his appearance on the show is just a way to promote his music career. He has made it clear he wants to be the “king of hip-hop and R & B in America,” and marrying an American woman may have been part of his plan to make that happen.
Either way, we can expect to see Umar’s career — and the admiring women that come along with it — to cause more problems for the marriage.