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Kate Chastain from Below Deck wondered how Ashton Pienaar claimed to be unable to recall most of the drunken evening in the van. But he remembered that Chastain asked about his mother the same night.

Kate Chastain, Simone Mashile, Ashton Pienaar, Brian de Saint Pern
Kate Chastain, Simone Mashile, Ashton Pienaar, Brian de Saint Pern | Karolina Wojtasik/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Chastain chatted with Colin Macy-O’Toole on his Radio Check podcast and both she and Macy-O’Toole were surprised that Pienaar didn’t seem more remorseful in his apology. Macy-O’Toole shared that when he previously had Pienaar on his show, he had hoped that Pienaar would have shown more remorse for his actions. “I thought he was going to be more apologetic and everything like that, to me it didn’t really seem like that,” he admitted.

Chastain agreed. “I was actually shocked when I heard his approach because I’ve done Below Deck for six years. There’s certainly times where things happen that you regret,” she says. “And you have to own up to it, say ‘I’m sorry, my bad and I see the error of my ways.’ But it was shocking that Ashton kind of seems to do the opposite. Like every time he’s interviewed about it, he kind of doubles down and it almost turns into the Ashton Ted Talk.”

Pienaar told Macy-O’Toole he didn’t remember most of the exchange

Macy-O’Toole says Pienaar doesn’t recall kissing Chastain. “And he doesn’t remember punching the van, but he remembers you asking about his mom,” he says to Chastain. “In very explicit detail he remembers the tone, he knows exactly my intention,” Chastain says.

“He has very specific memories about why I triggered him,” Chastain said when she heard Pienaar recount the evening during his chat with Macy-O’Toole. “But the next episode aired, and he wakes up, which he hadn’t seen yet when he did your podcast, nobody had. And the first thing he says when he wakes up is ‘What happened? Why was I mad?” And then he asks Kevin, ‘What did she say?’ So it’s like I can’t believe that he remembers because he’s on film saying he doesn’t remember.”

“And I promise you Colin, I was legitimately being nice about his mom,” Chastain adds. “I thought because his mother had written us all a very nice email after his accident last year, and I at that time really loved Ashton and I sent back a response saying, you know, ‘You raised such a lovely son and thank you so much’ … like nice.”

This is why Chastain brought up Pienaar’s mother

Chastain asked Pienaar to share her message with his mother too. “So at that moment, I thought asking Ashton how his mom was would bring up fond memories, to remind him that we’re friends and put us in a good spot,” Chastain says. “I really meant it in an opposite way than how it was taken.”

Macy-O’Toole said most people online also thought Chastain was being genuine. He then asks Chastain what was going on in her head when Pienaar essentially “Spiderman” kissed her from behind. “Honestly I wasn’t super offended,” she recalls. “I was just grossed out. There’s a difference. I didn’t feel harassed. I was just grossed out. It’s like your brother trying to kiss you. It’s gross.”