Colton Underwood Hasn’t Watched Any ‘Bachelor’ Shows Since His Season–’I’m Still Dealing With PTSD’

Colton Underwood was the bachelor before Peter Weber. Like Weber, he had a highly dramatic season, but for very different reasons. He fell in love with Cassie Randolph early on and was devastated when she decided to leave the show. Bachelor Nation isn’t soon to forget the former football player’s infamous fence-jump in an effort to escape production. In that moment, Underwood was done with the franchise.

Colton Underwood | Paul Archuleta/Getty Images
Colton Underwood | Paul Archuleta/Getty Images

But Underwood convinced Randolph to stay. They fumbled their way through meeting the bachelor’s parents and attempting to salvage a last-ditch romantic shore-side date.

Before the finale aired, Underwood was seen working out with Randolph’s sister’s boyfriend, Gregg Sulkin. He clearly felt a certain way about The Bachelor franchise at that point. Typically, series leads are supposed to have minimal contact with their final rose recipients and their friends and family in an effort to not spoil the season.

Colton Underwood’s complicated feelings about ‘The Bachelor’ and the show’s producers

Shortly after he filmed The Bachelor, Underwood began writing The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV. Writing was therapeutic for the former football player. The book goes into multiple areas of Underwood’s life, including his time with the franchise and even his experience with the show’s producers.

“I’m not trying to write this book to expose anybody or take anybody down,” said Underwood. “I just want to share my side of things.”

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Underwood says he knew the risks of going on a reality dating show, but there was no way of knowing how it was going to make him feel.

“I always knew the control I was giving up by going on a reality TV show of my life, but I didn’t know how it was going to affect me mentally,” he said.

It was such a trying experience for Underwood that he hasn’t watched a Bachelor show since he filmed his season.

“I’m still dealing with PTSD. I haven’t been able to watch any Bachelor shows since I’ve been off my season,” he said.

Colton Underwood opens up about his sexual orientation journey

Underwood opens up about a lot in his book, including his questions about his sexual orientation. ABC7 asked the former bachelor if “his struggles with sexual orientation played a role in his abstinence.”

“It definitely did, whether I knew it or not at the time,” he said.

“I internalized a lot of my struggles,” he continued. “I always had a hard time on The Bachelor articulating my reasons why I wanted to wait.”

But Underwood doesn’t have all hard feelings for The Bachelor. At the end of the day, it gave him exactly what he signed up for: a loving relationship with a girlfriend he adores.

Read more: ‘The Bachelor: Listen to Your Heart’: Jed Wyatt Says He’s ‘V Glad to Not Be Back in That Mansion’