‘Gilmore Girls’: 4 of Luke’s Best Rants

Luke Danes as played by Scott Patterson is a beloved character on Gilmore Girls. He always had a surly demeanor to go with his signature look; a plaid shirt and a backward baseball cap. Even though he complained about Stars Hollow and its residents nearly every chance he got, viewers — ourselves included — came to know and love him. 

Throughout the show’s seven seasons, we watched as Rory (Alexis Bledel) and Lorelai Gilmore (Lauren Graham) ate at Luke’s Diner where they witnessed some of his best rants. Delivered in the show’s trademark fast-talking style Luke shared his thoughts which often put him at odds with everyone else in Stars Hollow. Keep reading to see some of our picks for Luke’s best rants. 

Scott Patterson
Scott Patterson | Sarah Morris/Getty Images

1) He ranted about renting an apartment

When Luke got tired of living in such cramped quarters above the diner with his nephew, Jess (Milo Ventimiglia), he decided to find another place to live. After checking out a few apartments, he called Lorelai from a payphone — major #TBT — to share his frustrations with the entire renting process. He complained about not wanting a wood-burning fireplace and paying for parking spaces and laundry before rhetorically asking about his “paint killing tree sap deposit.” 

2) Luke bought a building 

The same episode, Gilmore Girls Season 2 Episode 15: “Lost and Found,” according to Fandom, gave us yet another one of our favorite Luke rants. After Lorelai helped Luke find a suitable apartment, he realized Taylor Doose (Michael Winters) owned the building. If that wasn’t enough to set him off, he learned Taylor had plans to buy the building next to his diner and turn it into a collectible plate shop. 

Cast of 'Gilmore Girls'
Cast of ‘Gilmore Girls’ | Warner Bros./Delivered by Online USA

He couldn’t stand the idea of Taylor “systematically buying up the town” so he spent $100,000 and bought the building. Panicked about spending that much money, with the help of Lorelai Luke realized it might be a good thing. The episode ended with him taking a sledgehammer to the wall in his living quarters above the diner to make more space for him and Jess. 

3) He didn’t want Thanksgiving decorations

Any fan of Gilmore Girls knows the fictional town of Stars Hollow is always celebrating something. When Thanksgiving came around, Taylor wanted Luke to decorate his diner with paper turkeys for the holiday. Luke, of course, turned him down again and again.

When he though Lorelai had been ignoring him because he wouldn’t hang Thanksgiving decorations, he went off on a rant complaining about a “picture of a fat, stupid bird,” according to Hello Giggles.

4) Luke yelled at Taylor when he installed a giant window in the diner

Luke facing off with Taylor became a recurring theme on Gilmore Girls. Like Friday night dinners or Lorelai and Rory drinking seemingly endless amounts of coffee, Luke and Taylor were always at odds with each other.

Scott Patterson as Luke Danes in Netflix's 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life'
Scott Patterson as Luke Danes

That, of course, led to some of Luke’s greatest rants. One, in particular, happened in the season 4 opener, Gilmore Girls Season 4 Episode 1: “Ballrooms and Biscotti,” when Rory had to get ready for college. She and Lorelai stood outside Luke’s Diner snacking on biscotti while Luke yelled at Taylor for putting a window in between their neighboring businesses. “You put a giant window in my wall,” Luke told Taylor.

Want more of Luke’s rants? On Netflix, watch every season of Gilmore Girls and the reboot.