Lorelai Gilmore was positioned as the perfect mom on Gilmore Girls. Over the show’s seven-season run, Lorelai encouraged and guided her daughter, Rory Gilmore, while maintaining a solid friendship with both teenaged Rory and Rory as an adult. Upon closer inspection, Lorelai wasn’t exactly a perfect mother. She encouraged Rory to lie a lot, and in doing so, injected her own disfunction into her daughter’s life.
Lorelai encouraged Rory to lie to Dean
Lorelai wasn’t great in romantic relationships, so it should come as no surprise that she didn’t offer her daughter sound advice in that area, either. After Rory and her first boyfriend, Dean Forrester, break up, she sends Rory off to a party in Hartford. At that party, Rory kisses Tristan Dugray, her nemesis. A few weeks later, Dean and Rory get back together.
Rory wanted to clear the air with Dean and tell him that she kissed Tristan, but Lorelai advised her not to. Instead, she thought it was better for Rory to omit the kiss and just never mention it to Dean. The advice could have ruined the relationship all over again if Tristan had mentioned the kiss in front of Dean.
Lorelai told Rory to lie to her friend, too
Several years later, Rory was faced with a serious issue. A Yale student she had befriended was dating her former pal Marty. Marty made things pretty weird by pretending not to know Rory. When Rory told Lorelai about the situation, she advised Rory to go with Marty’s lie.
This was, perhaps, some of the worst advice Lorelai ever gave her daughter. Not only did she not recognize how weird the entire situation was, but she advised Rory to keep something from someone who, by all accounts, was a nice person. Logan Huntzberger eventually told Lucy that Rory and Marty had been friends. While some fans think Logan was spiteful by exposing Marty, he was actually doing the right thing.
Lorelai seemed pretty dead set on teaching Rory to lie in Gilmore Girls
Lorelai herself didn’t seem like a huge liar. She often told the truth when it would have been in her best interest to lie. For example, she told Luke Danes she slept with Christopher Hayden when she really didn’t need to inform him. Still, Lorelai often insisted Rory would never lie, all while advising her to do so.
So, why did Lorelai advise Rory to lie so often? It’s hard to say, but Lorelai certainly saw it as an easier option, even if she didn’t take that option herself often. Rory’s lies never seemed to work out for her, though. Still, when fans reconnected with her in Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, she was still lying.