‘Gilmore Girls’: Kirk Was Actually Super Creepy

Kirk Gleason, of Gilmore Girls fame, was supposed to be a loveable, yet eccentric fixture in Stars Hollow. He made odd decisions, and didn’t always understand basic social norms, but, overall, he seemed harmless enough. A wild fan theory, however, painted Kirk in a totally different light. That fan theory suggested Kirk was actually a hitman. Sure, that’s a bit of a stretch, but if you look closely, Kirk has some genuinely creepy traits.

Kirk befriends old women to get access to their jewelry

When Lorelai Gilmore proposed to Luke Danes, everyone in Stars Hollow agreed she stole his thunder. To get back the romantic moment, Luke decides to buy Lorelai a ring. Kirk happens to have a box of rings that he’s more than happy to show Luke.

This would be just a little strange if Kirk didn’t admit that he collected the rings from elderly women he befriended. Kirk stated that he is often given the jewelry by the women in their wills or before they pass away in return for his companionship. There were hundreds of rings inside the case he showed Luke. Sure, Kirk was supposed to be eccentric, but this particular activity was downright macabre.

Kirk was a little too excited about his girlfriend playing a prostitute

When Kirk finally found a girlfriend, the residents of Stars Hollow rejoiced. It was nice to see Kirk finally find someone he could love, but over the course of his relationship with LuLu, he displayed some troubling behaviors. He spent an entire episode referring to her as his “girlfriend” instead of by name, suggesting he saw her as an extension of himself.

Later, he became overly interested in her involvement in a town event. Kirk wasn’t just excited about the prospect of LuLu playing the town prostitute; he seemingly pushed her into the role. Kirk might be quirky, but loudly exclaiming, “My girlfriend’s the w****!” in front a packed diner is too much even for a quirky character.

Kirk’s refusal to move out of his mother’s basement was troubling

Kirk, on several occasions, made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t happy living in his mother’s bomb shelter. He had plenty of money to move out, evidence by the fact that he could put down a considerable cash deposit on the Twickham house when it went up for sale. Still, he refused to leave. He even, at one point, wanted his mother to move out of her home so LuLu could come over regularly.

When Luke talks him into moving out of his mother’s house, he shows up, announced to sleep in Lorelai’s garage. Some may chalk up this moment to Kirk’s inability to understand social norms, but if you look at it from a different angle, it’s pretty creepy. An adult man showing up to sleep in a single woman’s garage completely naked sounds like the beginning of a low-budget horror movie.