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The romantic lives of the Gilmore girls was a driving force behind the show’s success. Most fans were rooting for Lorelai and Rory Gilmore to find their perfect matches. While Lorelai clearly did, Rory is seemingly still searching. While romantic interests were essential to the plot of the series, the writers didn’t always show them a ton of respect. In fact, boyfriends literally seemed to evaporate without any further information.

What happened to Lorelai’s boyfriend, Alex Lesman?

In Season 3, Lorelai started hooking up with a coffee shop owner named Alex Lesman, and by all accounts, he was a perfect match for her. He enjoyed coffee, he understood her life as a single parent, and he didn’t seem to be bothered by Lorelai’s quirks at all. They dated for several episodes, then Alex just disappeared. He was mentioned a couple of more times, most notably when Lorelai runs into Max for the first time after she canceled their wedding, but never again.

So where did Alex go? It’s a total mystery. Amy Sherman-Palladino, the showrunner, never mentions the disappearing Alex, and fans pretty much forgot about his existence when Jason Stiles shows up on scene, but it took almost an entire season for Lorelai to start seeing Jason, so clearly, Alex’s disappearance had nothing to do with the writers’ desire to pair Lorelai up with someone else.

Dean is never mentioned again after Season 5

Dean Forrester was a pretty important character throughout the first five seasons of Gilmore Girls. As Rory’s first love he brought plenty of drama, and their decision to get together while Dean was still married to Lindsay caused more than a few debates among Gilmore Girls fans. After their third, and final, breakup, Dean is only seen one more time before he disappears into the ether.

The actor who portrayed Dean, Jared Padalecki, left Gilmore Girls to pursue other options, but that still doesn’t explain why his disappearance wasn’t given an explanation on the show. He does show up in the revival, though. When fans see Dean again, he’s married and living in Pennsylvania, so perhaps, after his breakup with Rory, he packs up and moves out of Stars Hollow to start a new life. It’s as good an explanation as any.

Lane Kim’s boyfriend just disappeared, too

Lane Kim, Rory’s ever-present best friend, had a little romance of her own. While she ultimately ends up with Zach, a storyline many fans despise, she was initially romantically involved with another musician named Dave Rygalski. Dave spent several episodes winning over Mrs. Kim before he ultimately gets to date Lane, and then he just disappears.

Dave is mentioned in several episodes after his last physical appearance, though. Dave was said to be in college in California, but the show’s writers never bother to explain why and how he and Lane break up. The actor who portrayed Dave, Adam Brody, went on to star in The O.C., which is why he left Gilmore Girls, but fans would have loved to at least hear about the breakup.