‘Gilmore Girls’: Was Rory Gilmore a Bad Friend to Lane Kim?

Rory Gilmore may have had many great qualities. She was smart, driven and well-read. Rory, however, has never been described as a team player, and Gilmore Girls showrunner, Amy Sherman-Palladino, made it known that Rory didn’t have much of an interest in making friends. Even still, she did have a couple of enduring friendships, but her longest lasting one was with Lane Kim. Lane was a regular castmember during all seven seasons of Gilmore Girls, but fans who have rewatched the series have often wondered if Rory was actually a lousy friend to Lane. There is evidence to suggest she was.

Rory was so focused on herself that she totally forgot about Lane

Early on in the series, it becomes clear that Lane is Rory’s only friend. The duo seems like the perfect match, but as soon as Rory starts dating Dean, she becomes incredibly self-centered. In the 8th episode of the first season, Lane is desperate to tell Rory about her crush, but Rory isn’t paying attention to anything Lane is saying. She is focused on her books, and on getting Dean cookies. It’s hard to say if Rory even hears Lane as she rambles on about the virtues of Rich’s hair.

View this post on Instagram

Follow Them to the Edge of the Desert was too long.

A post shared by Gilmore girls (@gilmoregirls) on

Sure, Rory was in a new relationship and in a new school, but she didn’t have to completely blow off her friend. In this particular episode, Lorelai Gilmore is a better friend to Lane than Rory is, and that’s pretty sad. Viewers could let this go if it wasn’t a one-off event, but Rory consistently brushes Lane off again and again throughout the series.

Rory freaks out on Lane when Dean breaks up with her

Lane was a victim of Rory and Dean’s drama more than once. After the hair touching incident, Dean breaks up with Rory because she can’t manage to tell him that she loves him too. While she keeps the real reason for their breakup a secret from everyone, she’s genuinely horrible to everyone around her. Lane, who is especially lovely to her, seems to get the brunt of Rory’s bad attitude.

Not only does Rory never ask her about her day-to-day life, but she completely flips out when she walks in on Dean and Lane working together on a school project. Rory acts as if Lane stabbed her in the back and went on a date with Dean. What was really going on was what happens in every high school across the country every single day. A teacher decided the pair would work together on a project. Nothing awful went on, but Rory sure treated Lane like she was a traitor for failing to disclose her science partner.

Rory pretty much drops lane as a friend when she starts dating Logan

Gilmore Girls fans may have noticed that Rory and Lane’s interactions are pretty limited once Rory starts dating Logan Huntzberger. When she drops out of Yale, the formerly close pals seem to spend almost no time together, evidence by their forced conversation after Rory returns to Stars Hollow for a christening.

Rory apologists might argue that Rory was simply busy in Hartford, but without a heavy class schedule, she could easily give Lane a call from time to time. That doesn’t seem to happen, and many believe her relationship with Logan caused Rory to drop Lane. It took months into the pair’s relationship for Lane and Logan to meet, and that only happened when Richard and Emily Gilmore threw a 21st birthday party for Rory.