‘Gilmore Girls’: What Was Lorelai Gilmore’s Worst Trait as a Mother?

In the early 2000s, Lorelai Gilmore was held up as the perfect example of the “cool mom.” Lorelai was easy-going, understanding, and desperate to treat her 16-year-old daughter, Rory Gilmore, like her equal. Years later, a bit of the shine has come off Lorelai, and Gilmore Girls fans are quick to point out that the teen mom had some troubling traits. So, what was Lorelai’s worst trait as a mother? Fans have some opinions.

Lorelai was afraid to outright discipline her daughter, so she acted passive-aggressive instead

Lorelai grew up in a seemingly oppressive home. The Gilmores had many rules and were incredibly concerned with how they looked in front of their friends. After leaving her parents’ house, Lorelai completely overcorrected and attempted to raise Rory in a total democracy. She was terrified of angering Rory and pushing her away, so she avoided outright disciplining her. Instead, Lorelai was passive-aggressive with her daughter.

Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore and Alexis Bledel as Rory Gilmore in 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life'
Lorelai Gilmore and Rory Gilmore in ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life’ | Netflix

RELATED: ‘Gilmore Girls’: Two People Knew Rory Gilmore Wasn’t Cut Out for Journalism Before Mitchum Huntzberger Broke Her Spirit

Lorelai’s parenting style might have seemed great initially, but Rory had almost no actual guidance. She also never had someone tell her no, so she crumbled when she encountered pushback as an adult. Lorelai could have helped Rory a ton if she had set some boundaries and called her daughter out every now and then.

Lorelai was just as unbending as her own parents, she just approached it differently

While Lorelai didn’t want to be anything like her parents with her own child, some of their traits seemed to be passed on to Lorelai, regardless. Lorelai, unlikely Emily, was just better at spinning her controlling nature in a more palatable way. Instead of giving Rory clear cut instructions, as Emily and Richard did to her, she spun her own opinion and assumed Rory would agree with it. The few times she didn’t, Lorelai had meltdowns.

Kelly Bishop as Emily Gilmore, Lauren Graham as Lorelai Gilmore and Alexis Bledel as Rory Gilmore in the fall episode of 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life'
Emily, Lorelai and Rory Gilmore in ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life’ | Netflix

When Lorelai found out Rory had applied to schools other than Harvard, she got angry. As soon as Rory got wrapped up with Jess, she refused to believe that Rory may have been the pursuer. When Rory decided to take time off from Yale, she freaked out and refused to accept the decision. In a vacuum, each event doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when you look at them all together, it’s pretty obvious that Lorelai was just as rigid as Emily. She was also a hypocrite.

Lorelai’s absolute worst trait in Gilmore Girls might have been her possessiveness

Lorelai’s worst trait as a mother may have been her possessiveness. She truly didn’t seem to believe that anyone could be as close to Rory as she was. On top of that, she became instantly insecure the second anyone appeared to be getting close. She hated the idea of Rory connecting with the Gilmores, and she couldn’t stand her relationships with Jess Mariano and, to a certain degree, Logan Huntzberger. Fans can argue that she was only OK with Rory dating Dean Forrester because she was largely involved in the goings-on of their relationship.

Alexis Bledel and Matt Czuchry on 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life' in 2016
Alexis Bledel and Matt Czuchry on ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life’ | Saeed Adyani/Netflix

RELATED: ‘Gilmore Girls’: Should Rory Have Accepted Logan’s Proposal?

Lorelai and Rory’s closeness, alone, wasn’t a problem. The pair had an unbreakable bond, and that was a lovely thing. What was somewhat troublesome was Lorelai’s neediness as Rory aged. Reddit users point out that the look of sadness on Lorelai’s face when Logan asked permission to ask Rory to marry him said all they need to know about her thoughts on the matter. Why she was so troubled about the proposal, however, remains up for debate. Did she truly think Logan was the wrong guy? Maybe. did she hate the notion of losing her place as the most important person in Rory’s life? That seems likely, too.