Jada Pinkett Smith Says Love Is ‘Illusive’ and Can Be a ‘Brutal Process’

Jada Pinkett Smith and her husband Will Smith are one of Hollywood’s most enduring couples. They got married back in 1997, while both were at the beginning of their promising careers.

The two were both big 1990s television stars. Smith was the star of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and Jada had a prominent part in A Different World. Now, they’re setting an example or couples everywhere.

But Pinkett Smith is not just interested in teaching people how to love another person. She wants people to know how important self-love is, too. 

Jada Pinkett Smith shares two children with husband Will Smith 

Jada Pinkett Smith attends the European premiere of 'Magic Mike XXL'
Jada Pinkett Smith | Samir Hussein/Getty Images

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Smith and Pinkett Smith met on the set of his show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air in 1994. Within just a few years, the two would be married. Now they have more than 20 years together under their belt.

Smith and Pinkett Smith have two children together, Jaden, 20 and Willow, 18. With parents like theirs, Jaden Smith and Willow Smith are probably destined to be stars someday too. Both have already started acting, and engaging in various musical endeavors.

Breaking out of their parents’ shadow may not be easy, however. Willow Smith and Jaden Smith both no longer use their last name professionally.

Although Willow Smith and Jaden Smith claim that going by just a first name sounds stronger, it also disassociates them from their famous parents. That may help them make their own way. 

Jada Pinkett Smith’s view on self-love

Pinkett Smith and Will Smith have become synonymous with the last name ‘Smith,’ just like they’ve come to represent a healthy Hollywood marriage. Sure, they may not have a traditional marriage, but they’re making it work, which is what counts.

But on Valentine’s Day 2019, Jada chose to highlight the importance of self-love on social media instead of posting about her husband. The post featured a picture of a heart, with Jada talking about the importance of self-love, and how it’s necessary before loving anyone else. 

Self-love isn’t always easy, according to Pinkett Smith. She wrote: “The journey to self love [sic] can be a brutal process.”

She seems to equate self-love and personal power, saying that people need to completely put aside their ego before they can truly love another person. That can be uncomfortable — “Like releasing victimhood and embracing personal power. Without personal power/self love [sic], there is no foundation to build love for someone else because it’s the power needed to dissolve the ego which is our greatest obstacle to truly loving anyone.”

Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith believe marriages should transform

This isn’t the first time Pinkett Smith has given advice to people about how to be in love before. She and Smith are constantly being asked how they make their relationship work.

Pinkett Smith has no problem sharing her views on marriage. She doesn’t believe in marriage in general, but her relationship with Smith was strong enough for her to agree to tie the knot. Because she doesn’t think the institution of marriage is viable, her idea of what a marriage should be like is somewhat unusual. 

According to Pinkett Smith, sometimes marriages “need to be reimagined and transformed.” That’s a sentiment Smith has echoed on other occasions. 

Smith says that at one point, he and Jada did break up. But they got back together and transformed their marriage into something better. “We had to rebuild with new rules and something way, completely different,” he said.