Jennifer Lopez Says She Had Trouble Accepting Her Marriage to Marc Anthony Was Over

Jennifer Lopez married singer Marc Anthony in 2004. The couple later welcomed twins Max and Emme. Some were surprised after the couple called it quits in 2014. Here’s what J.Lo once said about their relationship and why it was difficult for her to accept that her marriage was over.

Jennifer Lopez feared the end of the family she spent years building with Marc Anthony

Jennifer Lopez | Michael Becker/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images via Getty Images
Jennifer Lopez | Michael Becker/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty Images via Getty Images

Although Lopez felt relieved after deciding it was best for her to divorce Anthony, she says in her book, True Love, that she dreaded what would come next. Now that her marriage was ending, the family she knew would change. Lopez also feared being judged because another one of her relationships failed.

I knew what it meant to say those words out loud: It meant the end of my marriage. The end of our family. The end of the dream I had worked so hard to hold together. And it meant more than that. It meant that once again I was going to be judged. I was going to be ridiculed, chastised, and mocked. I was so scared to have another failure, to be scrutinized by the world, and to disappoint everyone . . . again.

Jennifer Lopez, True Love

Jennifer Lopez was concerned the divorce would negatively impact her children

Lopez had concerns about how the divorce would affect her children. She didn’t want Max and Emme to suffer because of her choices. “This divorce wouldn’t affect just Marc and me,” wrote Lopez. “It would affect these two beautiful little souls we had brought into the world. I was devastated at the thought of hurting Max and Emme. I was afraid that I was about to ruin their lives, that someday they would resent me for not being able to keep this marriage together.”

Jennifer Lopez says she ‘hit rock bottom’

Jennifer LOPEZ | Michel Linssen/Redferns
Jennifer Lopez | Michel Linssen/Redferns

Lopez says she “agonized” over what would be best for her children. “I was pulled in both directions, which is why I had fought so hard against admitting the inevitable,” wrote Lopez. “I couldn’t admit that this marriage was over. But in the end, the truth finds a way to surface, even if you don’t want it to. That day in the desert, with my brain going wild trying to deny reality, I had finally hit rock bottom.”

Lopez says she knew there were problems in her marriage, but she chose to ignore the problems so she could keep her family together. She says she tried to push her feelings down and keep moving forward. “I knew we had problems, but we loved each other, and we were trying, and I wanted more than anything to have a family—this family,” wrote Lopez. “So, I was willing to ignore whatever wasn’t going well, for the greater good of preserving it.”

Lopez’s effort to hide from her feelings eventually caught up to her. In her book she describes having what appeared to be a panic attack during a photo shoot. She says she began feeling very anxious and overwhelmed, as if she “was going crazy.” Lopez says once she verbalized what she had been feeling, she realized her life would change forever.

 “It was out,” wrote Lopez. “The one thing I feared more than anything in the world. The one thing I had been trying for so long not to face. Deep down, I knew that nothing would ever be the same again.”

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