Jennifer Lopez Says She Finally Knows What It Means to Love Herself

Jennifer Lopez says she has gone through some tough times in her romantic relationships. Although she experienced dark moments, JLo says she learned what it really means to love herself.

Jennifer Lopez says forgiveness is key

Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez | ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images
Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez | ANGELA WEISS/AFP via Getty Images

One of the keys to self-love, according to Lopez, is forgiving yourself for your mistakes. This is something that hasn’t been easy for the singer. In her book, True Love, she says she spent a lot of time chastising herself for her missteps.

“Part of loving yourself is about forgiving yourself—which is something I’ve always struggled with,” wrote Lopez. “Being ambitious, being a perfectionist, means I’ve spent my life beating myself up for not being good enough, or for screwing something up. It took a long time, but I finally figured out that I wouldn’t have half the instincts or insights I’ve had as an artist over the years if not for those screwups.”

Jennifer Lopez on self-acceptance

Lopez says another key to self-love is fully accepting yourself. According to her, you can’t truly love yourself if you don’t acknowledge and affirm all the different parts of who you are.

“Loving yourself is ultimately about self-acceptance, about embracing every part of who you are,” wrote Lopez. “And that’s never just one thing. For example, when it comes to my music, I have never been about one thing. Why limit myself? I realize you have to be real; you have to be as honest as you can be and not worry about judgment or criticism.”

Lopez says it’s also important for her to accept all of herself because she’s an artist. “I have to accept all of that, and I have to love all of that because that’s what being a true artist is all about: knowing yourself, accepting it all, and sharing it with others. And that’s what I work on every day.”

Jennifer Lopez says she’s quick to stand up for herself now

Lopez points out that she’s now quick to take a stand if she feels she’s being mistreated. She says she noticed that she would always push back if she saw someone else being treated poorly, but it took her years for her to get to the point where she would stand up for herself.

“But as I’ve been reminded, a lot of people never figure it out at all,” wrote Lopez. “We all know someone who’s had their hopes and dreams and belief in love destroyed because they couldn’t figure out how to value themselves.”

Finding herself

Lopez tells her readers she has finally found her old self. She says she feels like she lost part of herself when she was in some of her past relationships. For her, it was necessary to go through those tough times so she could learn to value herself.

“I found that same girl again,” wrote Lopez. “Sometimes you have to explore the darkness to get to the light and get back to who you are. That’s the whole message of the Dance Again tour. We can survive anything, if we just keep on going.”

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